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I Dont Want to End up in A Nursing Home under

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I Dont Want to End up in A Nursing Home under

Posted by Old Age Fear on December 22, 2002 at 18:55:10:

Dr. SToll

I have a fear of ending up in a nursing home when I get older. I am still very young, but i have seen too many people end up in nursing homes. Is wellness the way to stay out of nursing homes when one gets older? Or is that asking too much of wellness.

Ah, for the days of my grandparents when they were alive, and when grandmother/grandfather got ill, they stayed with their grown up children who looked after them. Remember that, extended families. I so miss that.

None of this shipping them off to nursing homes so someone else can take care of them. What a lonely life most of these people have in these nursing homes. A few times I have visited relatives on my husband side of the family in nursing homes, and I shudder everytime I recall it. I remember this one nursing home, it reminded me of a lunatic ward. Sorry, but it did, and it was meant to be one of the better ones. The staff were great with the old people. It was just the state of the old people.

There were elderly people who were crying, talking to themselves, making gestures as though they really were talking to someone else, and then there was this other lady in a wheelchair looking straight down at the ground, she seemed to remain in this position for ages and ages, like she was in her own little world. There were elderly people milling around like they were lost and didnt know where they were.

Honestly, I would rather die first than end up in one of these institutions. I hope for children in the future who one day when I am old(and lets face it, we all have to get old) will be able to look after me when/if I should need it. Thats what strikes me as odd about young people, and I am only 32.

How young people who look down on old people and see them as washed up and finished. I think to myself, sweetheart, one day you too will be an old person and how would you like to be treated then? We all have to get there, right?!

My mother works in a hospice. She has always had a great affinity with elderly people for as long as I can remember and has worked helping and looking after them, for as long as I can remember, from when I was a little girl, and mum would take me along to her work with her at times. She has a gift with dealing with the sick and the elderly. She is such a fine example of what I want to be like when I am grown up. OH, hang on, I am grown up!!! LOL :)

She knows just what to say to them, to comfort them, and make them feel better. She has a most soothing, very motherly way about her. She works with patients who have Cancer, Leukemia, AIDS etc. So she has seen it all. Has told me some amazing stories of what occurs in the hospice. The hospice is great. I have been there on occasion to visit her, and its so homely and so very clean. Its one of the best hospices here where I live.



Re: I Dont Want to End up in A Nursing Home - I'VE A SOLUTION!

Posted by Sperm Donor on December 22, 2002 at 19:53:15:

In Reply to: I Dont Want to End up in A Nursing Home under posted by Old Age Fear on December 22, 2002 at 18:55:10:

Better get started making some babies!



Re: I Dont Want to End up in A Nursing Home under

Posted by Happygal on December 22, 2002 at 22:19:04:

In Reply to: I Dont Want to End up in A Nursing Home under posted by Old Age Fear on December 22, 2002 at 18:55:10:

Hi Old Age Fear,

A friend of mine who is a psychotherapist has some elderly clients. She described one woman in particular, who is living her old age RADIANTLY, because that is the way she lived her life.

When we are old, at some point usually the body fails, and sometimes the mind fails, but what we carry in our hearts is still important. That is the quality that was still visible in that woman up until her last days.

Here's another thought: the Taoists think that with proper self-care, a person can live to be 120 years old and die in the peak of health. I like that concept!

I have old age fears too - I don't have any children. I'm going to research all kinds of alternatives -- better living situations for that time of life.

Best wishes to you!
Happygal



Re: I Dont Want to End up in A Nursing Home under

Posted by no fear on December 22, 2002 at 22:49:25:

In Reply to: Re: I Dont Want to End up in A Nursing Home under posted by Happygal on December 22, 2002 at 22:19:04:

"Here's another thought: the Taoists think that with proper self-care, a person can live to be 120 years old and die in the peak of health. I like that concept!"

The truth is, 120 is the minimum--the very least we can do if we don't *damage* our body. With "proper self-care," most people can live far beyond the minimum lifespan, if they know what these self-cares are and how to practice them, and then actually practice them.

Taoism believes in agelessness.



Re: I Dont Want to End up in A Nursing Home under

Posted by Terri-Lynn on December 22, 2002 at 23:48:27:

In Reply to: I Dont Want to End up in A Nursing Home under posted by Old Age Fear on December 22, 2002 at 18:55:10:

Amen to healthy!Worry won't help and the mind can just say I let go, i think and pretty much go, i believe that way.

I Have a friend who's mother lived to 110 and used the mini trampoline every day and it not only cured her of many things, but kept her even drivng a car up unitl 98 years of age and she just died peacefully one night, never even suffered.;She also at healthy and had a son who gave her lots of imput on healty ways and she listened, because she could not afford insurance;

Don't forget the Mind is a big factor also to this; Keeping our mind alert and introspective; Also the emotional make up of a person in life keeps us young, taking the high road of inner peace in all of are affairs; Stored up Resentments can kill a persons mind and body also;
Stay Young in Mind and Body!



Re: I Dont Want to End up in A Nursing Home - I'VE A SOLUTION!

Posted by O,A.F on December 23, 2002 at 00:56:23:

In Reply to: Re: I Dont Want to End up in A Nursing Home - I'VE A SOLUTION! posted by Sperm Donor on December 22, 2002 at 19:53:15:

Erm, I am Still practising. Must be a slow learner.....:)



Re: I Dont Want to End up in A Nursing Home under

Posted by Miss Bliss on December 23, 2002 at 01:09:48:

In Reply to: Re: I Dont Want to End up in A Nursing Home under posted by no fear on December 22, 2002 at 22:49:25:

Maybe thats true, but I dont know many people in this day and age, who havent done some damage to their bodies. Be it from alcohol, doing drugs, environmental toxins, pesticides in our foods, lack of proper nutrition, diseases etc, etc.

So in an ideal world I could see how the taoist ideas would be viable.

Hey, I dont mind living till I am 120 or longer as long as I HAVE my health. I dont want to get old and be ill and live in utter misery. Euthanasia has its place.



Re: I Dont Want to End up in A Nursing Home - I'VE A SOLUTION!

Posted by SD on December 23, 2002 at 02:25:15:

In Reply to: Re: I Dont Want to End up in A Nursing Home - I'VE A SOLUTION! posted by O,A.F on December 23, 2002 at 00:56:23:

Not to worry luv, I know plenty of birds that got puppies to practice being mum on.



Re: I Dont Want to End up in A Nursing Home - I'VE A SOLUTION!

Posted by Not a bird on December 23, 2002 at 02:30:09:

In Reply to: Re: I Dont Want to End up in A Nursing Home - I'VE A SOLUTION! posted by SD on December 23, 2002 at 02:25:15:

Yeah, well I am not plenty of birds. I've been "practising" a long time without a hitch yet. Must be doing something right.



Re: I Dont Want to End up in A Nursing Home - I'VE A SOLUTION!

Posted by SD on December 23, 2002 at 02:39:28:

In Reply to: Re: I Dont Want to End up in A Nursing Home - I'VE A SOLUTION! posted by Not a bird on December 23, 2002 at 02:30:09:

Cor! If you say so luv. but if you've been practicing so much you must be perfect by now. When do you and that big galah you call your husband stop practicing
and start with the kiddies?

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Re: I Dont Want to End up in A Nursing Home under

Posted by Me on December 23, 2002 at 02:58:31:

In Reply to: Re: I Dont Want to End up in A Nursing Home under posted by Terri-Lynn on December 22, 2002 at 23:48:27:

Hi Terri Lynn

I certainly have to turn around my thinking. And be positive, and see my WHOLE life including when I get old, as being positive and life affirming. Its just that I have seen so many old people end up in nursing homes, its scarey.

My mind IS a big factor, and its so powerful. I am only becoming aware of this NOW. Only when I see it in action, as in drawing to itself what it is focusing on when I am not blocking it with emotions or attachments etc, that I realize how much power the mind has. I notice that when I have no great expectations or attachments to the outcome of the thought it seems the fulfillment is much easier and flows much more easily to me.

Stay Young in Mind and Body!

I plan on it, Terri Lynn! I know I create my own reality, and the time to start is NOW with conscious awareness~!



Re: I Dont Want to End up in A Nursing Home under

Posted by Vince F on December 23, 2002 at 08:37:47:

In Reply to: I Dont Want to End up in A Nursing Home under posted by Old Age Fear on December 22, 2002 at 18:55:10:

Fear will make your life miserable. There is
no telling how long we will live or how we
will age and what may happen tomorrow. You
could hit the lottery and everyone you know
may want to take care of you if infirmed OR
you could get hit by a car in your prime or
some other sudden situation may take you out.

It is Always better to live in the Now and
let things play out as they may and just
be prepared and accept what happens. If you
have seen sad situations in nursing homes
then that can worry you but I have had family
members in them and they were happy with the
experience.

I am very limited in function but Still try
to do what I want and like even if it takes
me days, months or years to accomplish them
and I have plans that would have been Very
hard to accomplish when I was extremely
healthy and felt half my age but I may live
to be as old as my grandfather at 104 and a
hospital did him in when in for a minor
problem. he may have made it to 120 since
he hadn't slowed very much at 104.

Try to live for today with an eye on the
future but not That far ahead. You might not
make it to where you fear and if you do you
will deal with it.

Follow Ups:


Re: I Dont Want to End up in A Nursing Home under (Archive in aging options.)

Posted by Walt Stoll on December 23, 2002 at 11:00:41:

In Reply to: I Dont Want to End up in A Nursing Home under posted by Old Age Fear on December 22, 2002 at 18:55:10:

Thanks, Old.

Great responses.

Walt

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Re: I Dont Want to End up in A Nursing Home under

Posted by no fear on December 23, 2002 at 11:05:37:

In Reply to: Re: I Dont Want to End up in A Nursing Home under posted by Miss Bliss on December 23, 2002 at 01:09:48:

Agelessness MEANS maintaining good health at whatever age--it's like a prolonged adulthood without getting old and frail. Imagine that!

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Terri-Lynn Re: I Dont Want to End up in A Nursing Home under

Posted by Joan on December 23, 2002 at 13:58:25:

In Reply to: Re: I Dont Want to End up in A Nursing Home under posted by Terri-Lynn on December 22, 2002 at 23:48:27:

I hope you get "Hooked on Phonics" for Xmas.



Re: Terri-Lynn Re: I Dont Want to End up in A Nursing Home under

Posted by LOL on December 23, 2002 at 14:35:48:

In Reply to: Terri-Lynn Re: I Dont Want to End up in A Nursing Home under posted by Joan on December 23, 2002 at 13:58:25:

Joan, you can send her one LOL

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Re: Terri-Lynn Re: I Dont Want to End up in A Nursing Home under

Posted by Gosh Joan on December 23, 2002 at 14:36:35:

In Reply to: Terri-Lynn Re: I Dont Want to End up in A Nursing Home under posted by Joan on December 23, 2002 at 13:58:25:

Terri-Lynn is notorious for bad spelling and grammar. That doesn’t mean that people don’t find her messages meaningful and it shouldn’t negate that in any way.




Re: Terri-Lynn Re: I Dont Want to End up in A Nursing Home under

Posted by Terri-Lynn on December 28, 2002 at 16:26:13:

In Reply to: Re: Terri-Lynn Re: I Dont Want to End up in A Nursing Home under posted by Gosh Joan on December 23, 2002 at 14:36:35:

Ha! Yup- Sometimes i write my feelings out so fast that the way i word things certainly needs some help; Thanks for those who read between the lines; I'll re read things before i mail them off, and perhaps keep a dictionary near by-ha! I've been told to put my responses in word so i can spell check and then move them over to the board, but i found i then did not want to write-ha! This has stopped me from writting books for years;

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Re: I Dont Want to End up in A Nursing Home under

Posted by Terri-Lynn-me on December 28, 2002 at 16:41:28:

In Reply to: Re: I Dont Want to End up in A Nursing Home under posted by Me on December 23, 2002 at 02:58:31:

We all need to be reminded at times! Feeling the pain in the heart and not trying to fix or change anything or run away from it is profound; The next step is to relax into the pain in the heart and try not to run away from it. Have you ever noticed that we run away from our pain and run to the head-chatter? After relaxing into everything in life the good and the bad, the heart can open and stay open, no matter what is going on in life.



Re: Your Thoughts, comments etc, Terri lynn

Posted by The Enchanted Nymph on January 14, 2003 at 21:43:37:

In Reply to: Re: I Dont Want to End up in A Nursing Home under posted by Terri-Lynn-me on December 28, 2002 at 16:41:28:

Feeling the pain in the heart and not trying to fix or change anything or run away from it is profound; The next step is to relax into the pain in the heart and try not to run away from it. Have you ever noticed that we run away from our pain and run to the head-chatter?

I notice I do this a lot. I run away from Pain. And use whatever means available to block, escape it, whatever you would like to call it. But its a temporary escape of course, but nonetheless an escape. My escapes can sometimes turn into addictions.

I had the most amazing experience at a channelling session just recently, and one of the messages that came through was in order to release, you have to feel the pain and release it. But then when does it become wallowing?! I was told that I wallow. :)
Hey, my "feel" of the pain, loss whatever, can go on and on, without actually being released from self but my spiritual healer is the best! She helps me overcome quite quickly. At least, maybe it is being released in layers, not the whole thing. But I get impatient and want the healing to go deeper.

I was also told that I NEED to have a spiritual healer in order to release and it wouldnt be enough to try and do it all on my own. I seem to have gotten that same message time and time again. I have also done that with a spiritual healer, and it helped tremendously.I guess there is stilla lot of stuff to be released.

But how deep do the layers go?! And why cant it just be released once and for all?

The channeling session was magical for me. So many fascinating experiences. I was awe struck! There was a young woman there, that I hadnt met before,it was her first time at channnelling. she had gone through some very tough life experiences, but this had helped open up her psychic pathways. She told me that as I was talking, she saw my face and body change. She saw a polynesian girl, a woman with very dark skin and wild hair and a third person that disappeared very quickly. I took this to be past lives.

There was a young man there that I had met a few times before. He is 21. His spiritual name is Michael, but he is known by spirit by another name, its kind of hard to pronounce and I forget now what it is. a real tongue twister!
But we clicked straight away. We have the best laughs and fun together. Kind of like we have been friends forever, almost feel like a very brotherly kin with him. I am sure there is a past life affliation here, and I plan on asking about it tonight. He is sicilian, with this wild mop of curly hair. When I was speaking with him last week at the session, I suddenly got the feeling that I was communicating with avery wise old soul. a great teacher. He too is very psychic and intuitive and at such a young age! He says that he finds that he has little in common with people his own age, and hangs out(as heput it) with people older than him who he has more in common with. :o)

anyway, I got kind of carried away here, but my question is about "feel and release" and how to get deep healing of emotional blockages.

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