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Bulimia/Anorexia

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Bulimia/Anorexia

Posted by
Glenna Price on September 03, 2002 at 01:20:24:

I have read this board for a couple years now and wrote just a couple times. I have a problem that I was afraid to come to this board with, but I now feel that I need advice and help, not a lecture or reprimanding. I'll try and make this short as possible.
I am 34, a female and have been bulimic for the past 10 years. I have stopping vomiting for the most part, but occassionally I will do it. I was vomiting sometimes 2 and 3 times a day. I would eat big meals and snacks, then get rid of them a short time later. I started by taking Ipecac, then my finger, and then it came very natural, almost right on que. For the past 2 years now, I am not vomiting, maybe once or twice a month and this occurs because I get very nervous at times. The problem is I am not eating as well as I should. I wont sit down and eat with family members, I dont go out to eat. I pick at my food, a bite here, a nibbble there then I throw it away. I dont eat meat except fish and chicken and still its a bite here and there. I have yet to sit down and eat a full, complete meal. I HATE the feeling of feeling full after eating. I dont want to feel this at all. I am 5'8" and weigh 109. No one, inclusing my husband has questioned my weight. But the other day I ran into an old friend who saw me when I weighed 140 and asked me if I was ill. I said, no, not at all. She went on to say, Im sorry Glenna but you like like a walking skeleton! I was flabbergasted. When I got home I undressed completely and looked at myself in my full length mirror. She was right. I never noticed before. My shoulders had 2 boney balls on top, my legs were like toothpicks with bones for knees. I could clearly see my ribs, pelvic area and hip bones with just a thin layer of skin. I stared at myself for what seemed a lifetime. I sat down and said, what am I doing to myself? I have a wonderful husband, 3 gorgeous children, 2, 4 and 7. My pregnancies went well, the last one I gained weight and lost it all within weeks after birth. I am killing myself, arent I? If I continue this route I now know I will die, my husband will remarry and another woman will be raising my 3 beautiful girls. My questions are....when I take a few bites of food, I feel full, has my stomach shrunk?
What can I do to get better?
How can I NOT be afraid of food?
Do you think I need counselling?
If I continue this way, will I die?
Thank you for any help and advice, I will read everyone.



Re: Bulimia/Anorexia

Posted by
zarin on September 03, 2002 at 01:41:59:

In Reply to: Bulimia/Anorexia posted by Glenna Price on September 03, 2002 at 01:20:24:

Wow what a moving and honest post. The fact that you have acknowledged you have a problem is half the battle won. Now you need to make a conscious effort to eat properly and exercise regularly. The body is an amazing machine that can heal itself, you just have to create the right environment for your body to do what it knows, to heal. Good luck and keep us informed.

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Re: Bulimia/Anorexia

Posted by Naya on September 03, 2002 at 13:44:37:

In Reply to: Bulimia/Anorexia posted by Glenna Price on September 03, 2002 at 01:20:24:

Dear Glenna, I wish I had time to write more now, but let me just say that you seem to have reached that point where you shocked yourself enough to want to find a solution. I speak from decades of suffering from the same illness(es). Please seek counselling from someone who knows how to treat eating disorders. I think I have finally beat my problem, although it's like being an alcoholic. You have to watch those emotional triggers which will cause the behavior to reoccur.
As I said, i wish I had more time, but I have to go to an appointment and the board will be shut down for a while, but if you want to contact me again, please do. Maybe we can email each other if you like.

Naya

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Re: Bulimia/Anorexia (Archive.)

Posted by Walt Stoll on September 04, 2002 at 07:41:38:

In Reply to: Bulimia/Anorexia posted by Glenna Price on September 03, 2002 at 01:20:24:

Hi, Glenna.

Listen to Naya & Zarin. Congratulations! You have taken one of the first steps towards recovery.

Years ago this condition was thought to be entirely psychological. However, those in the know now know that it is a brain chemistry problem.

I am sure that your stomach IS shrunk. However that is the easiest problem to correct. The first thing you need to do is read the brain chemistry archives and let us know what you learn.

SR and a whole foods diet (along with whole food concentrates--see the archives about supplements) are the first things you need to do.

As your brain chemistry improves, you will be able to eat a little more and your stomach will begin to stop being shrunken.

Now that this problem has gone on so long, you definitely do have a psychological overlay which will have to be addressed. However, until the basic problem is improved psychological counseling will be of little use. Later it will really help. It is sort of like a having a broken leg and trying to use psychological counseling to convince you that you can still run. However, once the leg is healed, psychological counseling might help you get started using it again.

Let us know what you learn and how you do.

Walt

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