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my boyfriend & constant anxiety

My boyfriend told me recently that he has constant physical tension
and anxiety. He can't really explain it beyond that, other than it feels
like his chest is constantly tight and restricted, like there is a
tremendous weight on it, and mentally he has a vague sense of fear
or dread that is not directed at anything that is really happening. He
just feels tense. All the time. He is 38.

I am wondering what I can do to help him. He does not believe in
taking medications, but is getting to the point where he might
consider it. I have asked him to read up on mind/body connection
and to start exercising, meditating, and reducing his consumption of
negative things like alcohol and coffee. But he doesn't seem to have
faith that anything will work, which makes him resistant to trying. He
has a defeatest attitude, just wants it to resolve itself, which is rather
childish admittedly, but there you have it. Right now I think he's just
worn out with the strain of it. This has been going on for the last two
years.

I would love to get some advice and insight about how to deal with
this from the good folks on this board.

Here is a little about his history. First and foremost he is a very
creative, high strung person to begin with. He is artistically gifted,
but highly sensitive, not particularly verbal or intellectual, or
philosophical, but intuitive, sensitive, very visual, with a very
overactive imagination. He is rail thin (6'1", 135 lbs,) in spite of a
healthy appetite and tendency to eat well (he doesn't like junky food
thank goodness, loves vegtables and lean meats etc). He has bitten
his nails his entire life, and I have also observed that he suffers from
Raynaud's Syndrome in his hands and ears (though this may be from
his English/Scottish/Irish heritage). He does smoke tobacco (rolls his
own), I would say about three per day. Not heavy, but not good at any
rate. He drinks beer just about daily, but part of this is to help cut the
edge off his constant anxiety. He is a sweet preson, a bit isolated,
cynical and prone to be skeptical about many things; he's a bit
anachronistic to tell the truth. He reminds me of R. Crumb if any of
you are familiar with him. The energy and attitude (sans misogyny
thank god!) are similar.

So, about two years ago he had a very negative experience with a
crazy neighbor who was threatening to kill and harm him. The man
was insane, but the fear of what he might do put my boyfriend into a
panic state 24 hours a day. Shortly after that situation resolved itself,
he and his wife decided to divorce, but due to financial strains they
lived together, technically "separated," for a year. During this time
she fell in love with another man and began a relationship with him.
There were sharing an small apartment this while time. Eventually, he
moved in with a friend, but that situation was temporary, and he
struggled to get his life back in order. I met him around the time
things were looking up, about 6 months ago.

Well, needless to say, all this took a toll on him and he found he was
constantly anxious, panicky, and physically tense. Now all of this
"drama" has resolved. He is happy in his relatiosnhip with me, has
finally settled into a place of his own, and his divorce is final etc etc.
But he remains 24 hours a day in this oppressed anxious state.

He adapted to life's stresses, and now his coping mechanism is itself
a stressor. So how to break the cycle?

I have suggested that we begin exercising together (he doesn't do
any now), and that perhaps he should look into seeing a therapist for
some guidance in understanding, coping with, and resolving the
tension. Is there anything else anyone thinks he should be doing? Any
tips to help get him feeling somewhat good to help fuel his faith that
it is possible to feel good again. I think he is disheartened and that
does no good toward healing now does it?

Anyway, sorry for the extrememly long post. This man means so
much to me, I love him dearly, and would like to help in any way I can.
Thanks for any information or advice!

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Re: my boyfriend & constant anxiety