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withholding stools

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withholding stools

Posted by SAHM on May 06, 2003 at 17:55:59:

My daughter just turned 5. She's been potty trianed since 2yrs old. I've been telling her when she turned 5 she was big enough to wipe herself after a bm. The day of her birthday she told me if I wouldn't wipe her she just wouldn't go. And she hasn't. Its been 3 days. I feel badly for causing this as she has an anxious/controlling personality. I should have seen this coming. But on the other hand she'll be going to kindergarten in Agust and she needs to learn to wipe herself. I really don't want to back down and start wiping her but I know this could lead to a serious problem. I don't know what to do.



Re: withholding stools (5 Year-old Bully.) Archive in witholding.

Posted by Walt Stoll on May 07, 2003 at 12:07:28:

In Reply to: withholding stools posted by SAHM on May 06, 2003 at 17:55:59:

Hi, SAHM.

How does it feel to be bullied by a 5 year old?

You might just suggest that she is going to be called "Stinky" when she gets to school and that nickname will likely stay with her for the rest of her school days.

I would just let her stink until she begins to find other ways to bully you. She will, you know.

Let us know how Stinky does.

Walt



Thanks for the wonderful constuctive advice.

Posted by SAHM on May 07, 2003 at 13:06:43:

In Reply to: Re: withholding stools (5 Year-old Bully.) Archive in witholding. posted by Walt Stoll on May 07, 2003 at 12:07:28:

I'm sure telling her she'll be called names at school will help her overcome her social/school anxiety disorder. I'll be sure to call her names and tell her others will do so too right away!

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Trying to give some constructive help!

Posted by
A SAHM too on May 07, 2003 at 18:01:04:

In Reply to: withholding stools posted by SAHM on May 06, 2003 at 17:55:59:

Gosh, I don't know what's going on with this board lately! I know how it feels to be crying out for help and then feel criticized, too. My daughter also has problems with anxiety and also withheld stools from age 3 to 5. She goes to morning kindergarten now and basically has gotten herself on a schedule of having a BM in the afternoon or evening. She had one episode of withholding since starting kindergarten, but it was over Thanksgiving vacation! (Hmmmmm, quite controlling, isn't it!) She is doing quite well now, but we really must watch her diet!!

The only "advice" I can offer is to get past your own anxiety about this. Either help her wipe or don't - whatever you are more comfortable with, but try not to let it be an issue. (My daughter was the same way. She takes care of "business" pretty much herself now, but sometimes she still wants help and I do.) My guess is that your child WILL NOT move her bowels at school anyway, so it won't be an issue. As for my child going to a full day of school, I'm not worried! I know she won't poop at school, so she'll either go when she gets home or in the evening. Things have gotten much better, though, when I just let her figure things out herself. I wish you well with this. Feel free to email me if there's anything further I can add or clarify. (click on my blue name)

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