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I've got the 6-year old who still stool withholds. He does NOT have hard painful stools. He goes almost every day, BUT, that is after trying to hold it in first and causing mess and stink. However, this week he did manage to hold it in for 2 days, causing mess along the way.
Noone can know how upsetting this is until they've experienced it. 6-years old! It's unbelievable. I'm about to cry right now.
MY QUESTION: Would the the Metamucil/Mineral Oil proceudre be applicable here? I mean, since his problem is NOT painful stools.
Thanks.
In Reply to: Impossible 6-year old posted by ph on August 30, 2003 at 18:37:30:
I had this problem with my daughter when she was 2 1/2 to 3 1/2 and sometimes rears its ugly head still. It is VERY frustrating. The main thing to remember is don't act like it is a big deal. It feeds them. I used the metamucil because it kept her going everyday. It builds up more waste and keeps it soft in case they do hold it. I personally used flax seed oil with a lot of luck also. The mineral oil, I'm sure works also. Does your child tell you why he doesn't want to go? It sounds like maybe at this age it is a game to get you going. Have you tried rewards? If my daughter doesn't go every day, she cannot have her favorite juice treats the next day after lunch. It seems to work. When I quit worrying about it, and didn't get upset, she went when she needed to. Sometimes she tells me she's not going to go, I tell her make your decision, you know what the consequences are(treats) and she goes. She's 4 and knows the game at this age, I'm sure he knows it at 6. Good luck!
In Reply to: Impossible 6-year old posted by ph on August 30, 2003 at 18:37:30:
Hi,PH.
Yes it will. You are going to go through a messy time till he decides there are better ways to get attention, though.
Listen to Jennifer.
You must not know when he messes and you have to convince him that you do not care. You need to set up things so he can clean up all his messes and wash the clothes and put them back in his drawer. You may have to ground him for every infraction of not cleaning up his messes, after about a week. He may miss a month of school to get this resolved. He will probably start coming to you to show off his latest production and you have to just show him that it is his life and you do not care. In the beginning you may mention to him that you do not come to him to show off YOUR bowel movements.
If you cannot keep yourself from being involved, this will take a lot longer.
Let us know what you experience. Of course you will not know what he is doing---RIGHT?
Walt
In Reply to: Re: Impossible 6-year old posted by Jennifer on August 30, 2003 at 21:52:18:
We also had this until 2 weeks ago (hopefully this is the end)At 3 years & 7 months she actually went down the toilet!!! We tried everything-presents, taking things away, saying what will friends think etc etc But in the end the day after being told she couldnt go in her Aunts swimming pool anymore (she had gone in that day before)she just did it, just like that. But you just have to let it affect her not you. Easier said than done!
In Reply to: Re: Impossible 6-year old posted by Sharon on August 31, 2003 at 12:16:32:
Believe me, I know. It IS easier said than done. I wish you the best of luck.
In Reply to: Re: Impossible 6-year old posted by Jennifer on August 30, 2003 at 21:52:18:
Yes, I've asked him why he doesn't want to go and he says "I don't know."
He's done this off and on his whole life since being potty trained. Mostly ON. I've tried every possible approach.
He washes out his own clothes and cleans himself. I try very hard to remove myself from whole thing and ignore. Very hard. I have to send him to the bathroom to clean himself when it's coming through his pants. Can't have him sitting on everything with that -- which means I have to acknowledge it.
I just started last night slipping him the mineral oil and back to the reward system: one hour of TV when he goes in the toilet.
Will keep updating on this saga.
In Reply to: Re: Impossible 6-year old posted by ph on August 31, 2003 at 13:48:07:
Thanks, PH.
You MUST opt out of this whole thing. No rewards OR punishments. Once he sees that he is gaining NOTHING except a smelly problem that only he has to deal with, it will fade into the past. So long as you are involved in ANY way you are an enabler and are perpetuating the problem.
It IS hard but is it any harder than what you both are going through?
Walt
In Reply to: Impossible 6-year old posted by ph on August 30, 2003 at 18:37:30:
Do they make diapers or pull-ups large enough for 6-year-olds? Maybe Depends in an extra-small size? Wouldn't that contain the mess so Mom doesn't have to be aware of when he does it and be the one to send him to the bathroom to clean up?
In Reply to: Re: Impossible 6-year old posted by just a thought on September 01, 2003 at 11:15:32:
Yes, there are overnight pull ups. I've considered making him wear one, but he refuses. Plus, he is 6, so it would be impossible to make him keep it on -- especially in school. Also, it would be a punishment/consequence (in his eyes) and as Walt says, no acknowledgement meaning no punishments or rewards.
In Reply to: Impossible 6-year old posted by ph on August 30, 2003 at 18:37:30:
curious - have you tried keeping him off of all dairy? this seems to make a big difference in my children. - they seem to "leak" when they have dairy - not on purpose. I'd guess that your son would stop the problem if he could - I'm sure he wants it to continue least of all. when we've gone through this with ours, I tell them that we are training their body together (not training "him" or that he's made a mistake).
Just a thought. good luck.
In Reply to: Re: Impossible 6-year old posted by molly on September 03, 2003 at 21:25:21:
We don't do dairy. Never did, except for something like ice cream on occasion. He's not leaking. He's very much intentionally holding it in when the urge strikes, but some squeaks out. It's not loose, wet, or diahrrea. It's soft-formed and the little bit that gets out gets very smashed in his underwear since he runs around with it all day.
Sometimes he'll go several days or a couple weeks without doing this. He goes to the toilet for his BM with no problem. But, then, he always starts up again with this mess.
He's just gotten worse and worse with it. Fortunately he has not ever held it in for days or weeks at a time, yet. As much as I've been reading about this problem it is still incredibly bizarre to me.
In Reply to: Re: Impossible 6-year old posted by ph on September 04, 2003 at 23:55:41:
PH,
This is a pattern that assures that this is an attention getting device.
Walt
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