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I just wanted to share the exciting news - it's a miracle - my youngest son (high-functioning autism) who has been stool withholding for 3 years has had a breakthrough. We've had him on all these things over the years to get him to "go", including Colace, Lactulose, Metamucil (powder AND biscuits), Citrucel, Mineral Oil, Fiber Choice, Magnesium and lots of Vitamin C.
Still, he could withhold for 4-8 days at a time. He hated "going" and for some reason was under the impression that if he tried hard enough, he'd never have to go again next time. We did poo-poo charts where he'd get stickers and stars and gave rewards, even a prize when the chart was complete but still I noticed that he thought (could be the autism) that when a poo-poo chart was finished, he was finished forever! We tried to explain to him constantly that "everybody poops", etc. but still had the problem.
The breakthrough came when for one of his prizes at the end of his chart he got a new book for his electronic Leap Pad system. It was called "I Know Where My Food Goes". I was almost afraid it would backfire because his avoidance of pooping was SO strong that I almost predicted if he found out that EATING makes poop he would refuse to eat, that's how strongly he avoided the whole thing. Luckily, it had the opposite effect and somehow, some way, the "light bulb" went on for him. He figured out that pooping is inevitable by reading this book and seeing the cartoon graphics of where your food goes.
Since then, he has ceased to withhold and now goes every 1-2 days AND IS OFF ALL THE ABOVE. We totally stopped doing poo-poo charts and he goes when he feels the urge - we don't have to prompt him at all. Incredible! Just wanted to share in the hopes that others could benefit from this book with their fearful stool-withhoding kids.
This child was the KING of stool-withholders for THREE YEARS. I truly thought there was no end in sight and had resigned myself to having to shove fiber and oil and etc. down him twice a day for the rest of my life. I can't tell you what a relief this is. But, if you are a parent of a stool-withholder, you KNOW!
*one funny note - When I first gave him the book I asked him "do you know where your food goes?" and he replied "on the table" - HAHAHAHA
In Reply to: stool-withholding breakthrough posted by kmd on October 11, 2001 at 22:08:47:
nmi
In Reply to: stool-withholding breakthrough posted by kmd on October 11, 2001 at 22:08:47:
Hi, kmd - I know how excited you must be!!! Congratulations!!! I have just forwarded your post to my daughter. She has been trying most of the things you have (mineral oil, metamucil, Fiberchoice tablets, lots of fiber, etc.), and my granddaughter now doesn't fight going poo-poo, but she just refuses to even try the potty and even told her teacher at pre=school very seriously that "oh, no, not me" when she was asked if she needed to poop. She goes a full week sometimes but it's always soft and she doesn't get all weird before she does it anymore.
I really think that if she understood about digestion, it would help tremendously! I hope she can find the book. If not, I'll try and mail one to her. Your son sounds very bright and one who thinks things through thoroughly. My granddaughter (3 l/4) also does this.
Wish us luck!! and thanks again for the information about the book!! Raisa
In Reply to: Re: stool-withholding breakthrough posted by Raisa on October 12, 2001 at 08:04:33:
Hi again - I forgot to ask you if your son is potty trained? It sounds like he is. My daughter has avoided mentioning the potty much but has just been working on getting my granddaughter to "go", period!! All the children in her pre-school are potty-trained but that doesn't bother my granddaughter. I think she feels that she is just above all that or something! If you ask her why, she says, "that's just the way it is".
You have given me such hope with that book you mentioned! That was so funny about your son's saying "on the table" when you asked where the food goes! lol Raisa
In Reply to: Re: stool-withholding breakthrough posted by Raisa - addition to my post to kmd on October 12, 2001 at 09:42:36:
Thanks Raisa, I'm glad this all may help your granddaughter. I got the book at Target, you have to have the Leap Pad system (an electronic book system, also at target for about $48 and well worth it - don't pay more than $50 for it as I have seen it in learning stores for up to $75!). Yes, my guy is potty trained, he is a few years older than your granddaughter. He went to preschool 2 years and was fully trained by the end of the first year. The problem was the cycle of pain and fear with the stool withholding (diapers wouldn't have helped, it wasn't a fear of the toilet).
There are lots of good potty books that are not Leap Pad books - these all helped us with the potty training aspect. Just for the stool-withholding this Leap Pad book was the only thing that got through to him. Until he read that a few times, he was convinced each time he "went" that it would be the last time ever. And that's how he was living his life, in avoidance of the inevitable and unable to understand that pooping IS inevitable. Now he's got it!
He says the funniest things - after he said his food goes "on the table" I asked him "but where does it go after that?" and he looked at me like I was asking a dumb question and declared "on my plate!"
In Reply to: Re: stool-withholding breakthrough posted by kmd on October 12, 2001 at 13:00:49:
Hi, Before I saw your last post, I looked up the book title and found that there is a book by that name and the author is Jacqui Maynard. Could that possibly be the same book you have? I hope so, because I sincerely doubt that my daughter will invest in the Leap Pad system. It's hard for me to get her to try different things. She lives on the west coast and I'm on the east coast, so we "visit" via phone and email most of the year.
The book I saw is $12.50 and is about a mother and son having a conversation about what happens to food. It could be sort of like the one you have. Maybe I can get a review of it at Barnes & Noble.
Wonder what your little boy will answer when you ask him what happens after he eats it. Bet that will be a real gem! lol! Raisa
In Reply to: Re: stool-withholding breakthrough posted by Raisa on October 12, 2001 at 13:17:56:
Yes, that is the author! Too bad about your daughter. I got used to investing in learning tools for my son early on, since he started receiving different diagnoses at 6 months and was finally diagnosed with autism at age 2. He has made amazing progress, is brilliant and talented, not to mention happy and fun. His odd speech patterns only serve to make him more charming to most adults ... his biggest difficulty lies in socializing with his peers. He reads and spells way beyond his age level even though he is in a special-needs classroom. His academic skills are excellent but his ability to focus, answer questions, maintain attention, follow directions, and be consistent is severely lacking. He has been in therapy (physical, occupational and speech) since 17 months old and we added music therapy and one-on-one in-home habilitation for the last 3 years.
I was laughing with his teacher just this morning about how the children in his class have few social worries and will walk out of the bathroom nude and think nothing of it (something my son does as well). Raising him is a constant process of identifying each tiny aspect of development that is lacking and taking steps to teach those things (autism is a developmental disorder, these milestones so naturally reached by other kids have to be taught to them in broken-down steps).
He tends to go from one obsession to the next - we had the door obsession (long story), the sniffing obsession (that was a tough one), and the cat obsession to name a few. He is eccentric and unique and I wouldn't want to change that about him ever!
I don't know why I'm going on and on, I'm just so proud of him and so blessed to have this wonderful angel in my life!
As for what he would say if I asked him what happens after he eats the food, he now knows and will say "food turns into poo-poo". The funny answers he gave were before he read the Leap Pad book... A lot of humor comes from the fact that he is extremely literal. Like when we lived for a few months in an apartment ("partment" he called it) - We lived on the ground floor and he kept wanting to go up the stairs "to the apartment." I never understood until one day I said "no, we go in this door" and he said "I don't want to go to the partment, I want to go to the up-partment" HAHAHAHAHA
In Reply to: Re: stool-withholding breakthrough posted by kmd on October 12, 2001 at 16:38:47:
Hi,
Thank you for sympathizing with me about my daughter! Believe me, I need that sympathy! But, it has nothing to do with investing in learning tools. She won't get the book because she is SURE (without even trying)that it would make my granddaughter not eat. You, on the other hand, tried the book and found that it worked! I happen to think that would not be the case and that learning something about digestion would help her to understand that "pooping" is normal. I'm wondering what my granddaughter thinks happens to food after it is eaten? I know she doesn't associate eating food with anything to do with pooping! I can't imagine what she would say if I asked her what happens to the food after you eat it, but I'm sure it would be something very different that what actually happens! Your son is way ahead. He sounds like an adorable little boy! I love listening to little children and hearing the different ways they interpret things. I had forgotten that your son is autistic. I know that autistic children are especially bright, and I also know that it is a real challenge and a pleasurable one to guide them through childhood.
Again, congratulations! I hope some day I'll be able to say that my granddaughter is over this hurdle! My daughter is expecting a new baby next month and that will push everything back; that's sad, but it's her problem. Raisa
In Reply to: stool-withholding breakthrough posted by kmd on October 11, 2001 at 22:08:47:
Thanks, kmd.
For any child old enough to understand, this is a great idea!
Namaste`
Walt
In Reply to: stool-withholding breakthrough posted by kmd on October 11, 2001 at 22:08:47:
Thanks, kmd.
For any child old enough to understand, this is a great idea!
Namaste`
Walt
P.S. Author and publisher? Year published?
In Reply to: Re: stool-withholding breakthrough (Archive in constipation.) Addendum. posted by Walt Stoll on October 13, 2001 at 07:33:18:
Hi, Walt - The author of the book "I Know Where My food Goes" is Jacqui Maynard; it is published by Candlewick Press and was published January l, 1999. The price is $9.99.
It can be found at Barnes & Noble.
Do you think at 3 1/2-year-old would understand something like this? The book says it's for pre-schoolers. As I told kmd, my daughter thinks that the book might make her daughter stop eating! kmd was concerned somewhat about it too, but, as you know it solved her problem! I would appreciate knowing your thoughts about this. Raisa
In Reply to: Re: stool-withholding breakthrough (Archive in constipation.) Addendum. posted by Raisa on October 13, 2001 at 08:58:49:
Hi Raisa, I have to admit that your daughter might be right and that her concern is valid. I had the same fear for a long time and maybe if I had given that book to him 6 months ago he wouldn't have been ready and might have tried to stop eating. It is a risk, I suppose, to try it as the results could swing one way or the other, depending on the child (and/or the age of the child). Since my son is developmentally delayed he is in some ways equivalent to your granddaughter's age but I can't predict how she will react. Is she "mature" enough to handle this kind of information?
I wish I had a definite answer but as with everything else it is an individual thing. I feel confident to say that I do think that if she isn't ready for it NOW, she will be ready for it eventually.
The risk of it making a child stop eating is dependent on how fearful she is of pooping! The more fearful she is, the greater the risk.
In Reply to: Re: stool-withholding breakthrough (Archive in constipation.) Addendum. posted by kmd on October 13, 2001 at 12:21:28:
Hi, kmd - Thanks so much for your response! I have decided to buy the book. Barnes & Noble didn't have it rated, nor did they have a review of it. When I was in nursing school, we had to write a paper and trace the journey of a sesame seed from the time it was put in the mouth until it was excreted from the body. I learned a lot just by having to write that paper! I think a book written for pre-schoolers if well-written could help them start understanding about their bodies, don't you? I'll send my daughter the book after I read it if I think she is ready for it.
She isn't fearful of pooping anymore. She used to be when she had had the fissure, but after the MO and Metamucil was given for months, finally she has stopped being panicky when she has to go. Still, she waits for three to seven days and has no desire whatsoever to be like the other children in her class who use the potty. she only goes to the pre-school two days a week for 2 hours and never has pooped while at school. I think that if she had to go while at school it would be traumatic because she has told the teacher that she doesn't poop (in so many words). My daughter keeps saying something has to be done, but she doesn't seem to be trying very hard. As I said, I worry that when the new baby arrives things will just get worse.
Guess I'll just have to realize that I can't help from so far away.(I do not nag her about it). From what I've read here, there are some people whose problems with constipation started in childhood because it wasn't treated right. The doctor said not to push using the potty, and my daughter hasn't - just mentions it sometimes. Didn't mean to go on so long! I'll just have to keep hoping that she'll suddenly see the light as your little boy did. What a wonderful relief for you!!! Raisa
In Reply to: Re: stool-withholding breakthrough (Archive in constipation.) Addendum. posted by Raisa on October 13, 2001 at 14:16:25:
Boy, when you said your granddaughter declares she doesn't poop, that is EXACTLY what my son often said, "I don't poop". In fact, it took me a long time to realize that when he did finally poop and would say "I'm all done pooping", he didn't mean it like you would think (time for a wipe), he meant he was done FOREVER. Funny how their little brains work.
My son also had never ever pooped at school - for 3 years. He has just now started to do so when he needs to.
I had a friend whose son was fully potty trained but refused to poop in the toilet until about age 5. They were at their wits end but finally he developed that critical stage of social conscience and joined the rest of society on this matter, much to the relief of his parents!
I think things will work out for your granddaughter since she isn't fearful - when they are fearful there is just nothing you can say or do to ease that fear. I'm glad you're buying the book, and like I said if she isn't ready for it now she probably will be in the near future. Congratulations on your upcoming new grandbaby as well. I hope I get some grandbabies some day...
In Reply to: Re: stool-withholding breakthrough (Archive in constipation.) Addendum. posted by kmd on October 13, 2001 at 16:08:57:
In Reply to: Re: stool-withholding breakthrough (Archive in constipation.) Addendum. posted by Raisa on October 13, 2001 at 08:58:49:
Hi, Raisa.
Possibly. However, one of the truisms of childhood is that the demands of a growing body will prevent any child from refusing food to starvation. That will not stop the tendency (normal) at this age to use food as a lever for control if the child recognizes that it causes those GIANTS in their environment (parents) anxiety. Poor management of the child's psyche CAN produce a psychotic child but that is pretty hard to do.
The odds of this resolving the child's fantasies about bowel movements are MUCH greater than the possibility that it would make it worse.
3 1/2 is about the earliest that this might help and I think it likely worth the trial. You can always do it again.
Let us know how you do.
Walt
In Reply to: Re: stool-withholding breakthrough (Archive in constipation.) Addendum. posted by kmd on October 13, 2001 at 16:08:57:
Hi, kmd - I just received "I Know Where My Food Goes" and have read it. I think it would be really helpful for my granddaughter. I truly believe that, like your son, she thinks that each time is the last time for pooping! When she does poop several times in one day, she is very surprised and wonders why. And a few days ago, my daughter said she refused to let her change her diaper!
She may be too young for the book, but since Walt says it couldn't hurt to try, I'm going to take it with me when I go there to help with the new baby. No use to mail it because I know my daughter won't read it to her - I have to talk her into it. The exact words of the book don't have to be used - just so she gets the jist of it, right?
I have also just ordered Dr. Stoll's book which I will also take with me. Thanks again for posting about the book, etc. Raisa
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