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Hi,
A girl I know sometimes gets cold sores above her lip. She says that she doesn't have herpes. I don't want to hurt her feelings. I'm attracted to the girl. In her past she has gone to bars and done some one night stands, I know that.
Can a girl get cold sores and not have herpes? I don't want herpes that's for sure. I've got enough health problems without getting herpes virus.
I would still be her friend, even intimately, but not intimately enough to get herpes, if in fact she has it.
Thanks for the feedback.
Spanky
In Reply to: Does she have herpes? posted by Spanky on October 19, 2001 at 12:38:50:
Spanky,
If she has a cold sore she has herpes. The differentiation between the two kinds "oral" [type 1] and "genital" [type 2] isn't even made anymore between doctors based on location of sores. Because of oral sex, docs nowadays see BOTH types in either place and do tests (culture from lesion or blood test to look for antibodies) to determine which type a sore it. In other words, you can have "genital" herpes, or type 2, IN OR ON your mouth or anywhere else on your body that you have a nerve ending. Kissing and oral sex are the most common ways to get it. (If you kiss someone who has "genital" herpes IN OR ON their mouth, guess what you could now have. . ??) Try explaining that to every single intimate partner you have for the rest of your life.
If you kiss this girl while she is active you have a good chance of getting it yourself. What does "active" mean? If she has a "weeping" sore the liquid it emanates contains the virus. Even while a lesion is healing there is a small risk of "viral shedding," when virus particles are "shed."
Trust me, you don't want this. Once infected with either type you are stuck for the rest of your life unless a cure is found. Herpes is very painful, especially type 2, and if inside the mouth can destroy the oral tissues like the gums. Those with lesions in the mouth can hardly speak or eat. I know people who have lost their teeth prematurely because of herpetic outbreaks inside the mouth.
People who are infected risk "breaking out" everytime their immune system is compromised -- everytime they don't get enough sleep, are under stress, have a cold or other malady, everytime they get out in the sun, every month for a female before/during her period, etc. Taking acyclovir [Zovirax] can be expensive, and there are side effects like GI distress.
You are wise to raise this question. Listen to your common sense -- don't go there!
sweet sue
In Reply to: Re: Does she have herpes? posted by sweet sue on October 19, 2001 at 14:26:30:
More about that.....a question.
Are canker sores the same as cold sores, and does this signal herpes too?
If not, what causes a canker sore? Is it possible to have them in ANY place in the mouth, including the throat?
thanks for any thoughts!
Sincerely,
sk
In Reply to: Re: Does she have herpes? posted by sk on October 19, 2001 at 16:32:39:
Hi, No, a true canker sore is not herpes and is noncommunicable. Many people confuse the two (or intentionally mislead others about what they really have!).
Sorry, an expert (like Dr. Stoll) will have to answer the other questions.
sweet sue
In Reply to: Does she have herpes? posted by Spanky on October 19, 2001 at 12:38:50:
I bet you're the girl! Or else you seem to be leaning hard toward the judgemental side. If the latter is true, after you reject her and treat her like a leper, remember that the next person you hook up with may have gone to bars and (gasp!) even have herpes lying dormant. Good health and education on the topic can prevent outbreaks. If you happen to care and not just be aiming for physical fulfillment then you could suggest this person supplement with l-lysine and encourage a more stress-free lifestyle. I can understand not sharing a kiss with someone you think has an active herpes virus but if you are just looking to be with someone based solely on attraction you better watch out. Finally, imagine how you would feel if you were unknowingly infected with an STD that was not contagious 24/7/365 and later YOU were rejected by someone you like even though it was very easy to control/treat. My best friend is with someone who has genital herpes and has been with the same person for 15 years - and has not transmitted this virus in all that time.
In Reply to: Re: Does she have herpes? posted by Swift on October 19, 2001 at 17:15:45:
Hi, Swift. You said:
"if you are just looking to be with someone based solely on attraction you better watch out." Let's discuss the "depth" and "integrity" of the person he is describing here.
According to Spanky this person is denying that she even has it. SO, either: (A) She is lying to him; or (B) She is in denial herself and has not seen a physician; or (C) It isn't herpes.
No matter which the case is, she is either (respectively): (A) Dishonest; (B) Dysfunctional; or (C) Not being forthcoming with information. Since Spanky indicated that he was just friendly/interested in the person and not madly in love with her or involved yet, I think it is in his best interest to move on. What else does this person possibly have that he DOESN'T know about? Why isn't she taking better care of herself? Worse, is she lying? If she is lying about this she will lie about other things too. If it is denial then she needs counseling.
At any rate, these are most definitely traits possessed by someone incapable of a healthy relationship.
sweet sue
In Reply to: Re: Does she have herpes? posted by sweet sue on October 19, 2001 at 17:30:34:
Sweet Sue - Your points are well-taken and valid. Seeing an MD and getting a culture would certainly put this to rest. Education is very important in all facets of life and probably especially regarding health - perhaps this person also suffers from ignorance. But if someone is worth considering intimacy with then they might merit a little respect. If this is a young person without the benefit of experience it surely could be herpes - I'd want to know too, frankly. Based on what I know, however much that is in the scheme of things, it seems a shame to all but ostracize someone before finding out those other things. I don't want any diseases either - maybe it would be reasonable to encourage this person to have it cultured.
But he was interested enough to write...so if he wasn't that interested he would have already moved on.
Yeah, Spanky, we know you're in the room. Hope it works out with no hurt feelings.
In Reply to: Re: Does she have herpes? posted by sk on October 19, 2001 at 16:32:39:
Thanks for all the info. I don't want that, no way.
I used to have a sexual relationship with a girl that *had* had herpes in her genital area several years earlier. We had sex dozens of times. I *always* used a condom and did not get it from her.
It's a lot better to be safe than sorry. I would never condemn anyone for having a virus but I need to make sure that I never get herpes too. My body is dealing with enough problems as it is. It cannot take on any more :-)
Thanks also for understanding my feelings.
Spanky
In Reply to: Re: Does she have herpes? posted by Swift on October 19, 2001 at 17:58:00:
Thank you.
We can be friends for sure (her & I), maybe not intimate friends, but I'd always be there for her if she needed a friend.
S.
In Reply to: Re: Does she have herpes? posted by sweet sue on October 19, 2001 at 17:03:32:
Hi, Sweet Sue, et al.
There are 2 types of herpes: Genital (type 1) and oral (type 2). The name is based on how they look and NOT on any similarity of the virus.
One cannot convert to the other. Both can be transmitted by contact. The oral always stays oral and the genital always stays genital. The big deal you have been hearing about is the genital type 2.
This is NOT the same as canker sores.
Wellness will resolve them both!
See the archives about herpes types 1 & 2.
Hope this helps.
Walt
In Reply to: Re: Does she have herpes? posted by Walt Stoll on October 20, 2001 at 10:16:39:
Dr. Stoll,
On this point I respectfully disagree. About ten years ago I was diagnosed (by both culture and serum antibody testing) with intraoral HSV 2 . . .
After seeing dentist and periodontist, finally an oral pathologist took one look at inside of my mouth and immediately knew it was HSV. Because I already had type 1 on my lip, he suspected type 2 in the mouth. Subsequent culture and serum antibody testing proved him correct.
I work in a hospital. After receiving my diagnosis I spent countless hours in the medical library, poring over Oral Pathology and Dermatology textbooks, reading everything I could about HSV. (Because I was immunocompromised at the time secondary to "autoimmune disease/psoriatic arthritis" [which, thanks to you, I now know is LGS] I suffered with severe recurrent outbreaks.]
Basically what I learned is this: Because of orogenital contact, the old rule of "1 is oral and 2 is genital" has been thrown out. Either type may occur in either place, and docs are seeing more intraoral type 2. Typing is the definitive way of finding out which type it is. I have seen this in print countless times, and if you want I'm sure I can dig up a reference for you.
This is embarassing, but . .
At the time I contracted this I was still a virgin. I got this via a kiss (a rather deep one) from a guy whom I had been hanging out with on more of a friendly basis. We went on a date (our first) to an outdoor concert, and I had a few beers (like everyone else there). He firmly held my shoulders (he was much taller than I) as he kissed me, but it was a weird kiss -- more tongue than lip. Later (after finally getting correct diagnosis) I learned from his roommate that he knew that he had herpes and gave it to me intentionally: he had talked about it before we went out. (I don't know how he could have kissed anyone, herpes is so painful.) I consulted an attorney, but it is very difficult to prove in court who gave whom an STD. Plus, I had been drinking so some would say that I had "asked for it."
I hope someone reading this can benefit from it somehow. Sometimes it is cathartic for me to vent this "old stuff."
Thank you, Dr. Stoll.
In Reply to: But Dr. Stoll . . . posted by sweet sue on October 20, 2001 at 11:20:47:
Hi, I found this on the internet. It is from
http:/www.sexhealth.org/infocenter/STDsFile/herpes.htm. Please note the 6th (last) sentence:
Abstract:
Herpes is the colloquial term for the generally non-lethal infection caused by the herpes simplex virus. The virus has two separate manifestations; Type 1 (labial herpes) and Types 2 (genital herpes). Labial herpes typically exist around the mouth. This is the virus which causes common cold sores and mouth blisters. Genital herpes generally exists on the genitals. It is important to note that labial herpes can be transmitted to the genitals and vice versa.
In Reply to: Re: But Dr. Stoll . .P.S. . posted by sweet sue on October 20, 2001 at 18:40:46:
In Reply to: But Dr. Stoll . . . posted by sweet sue on October 20, 2001 at 11:20:47:
Thankns, sweet sue!
I guess that that was discovered after I left practice. I appreciate your keeping me up on this. Not practicing has made it VERY difficult to keep up with new conventional medicine discoveries.
I excuse myself by saying that I already am so far ahead of my colleagues with most chronic conditions that is really doesn't matter. The conventional medical community still does not have an answer to any herpes as good as lysine and wellness. Looking at it that way, what does it matter that both 1 & 2 can exist both places? The treatment is still the same.
Namaste`
Walt
In Reply to: But Dr. Stoll . . . posted by sweet sue on October 20, 2001 at 11:20:47:
Thanks, sweet sue!
I guess that that was discovered after I left practice. I appreciate your keeping me up on this. Not practicing has made it VERY difficult to keep up with new conventional medicine discoveries.
I excuse myself by saying that I already am so far ahead of my colleagues with most chronic conditions that is really doesn't matter. The conventional medical community still does not have an answer to any herpes as good as lysine and wellness. Looking at it that way, what does it matter that both 1 & 2 can exist both places? The treatment is still the same.
Namaste`
Walt
In Reply to: Re: But Dr. Stoll . . . (Archive in herpes.) posted by Walt Stoll on October 21, 2001 at 09:14:18:
Dr. Stoll,
Thanks. An allopath would have been outraged that I deigned to question him! (After all, allopaths already know everything, right??)
From what I've read the only distinction between 1 & 2 is that outbreaks of 2 are more severe and painful than 1. On a positive note, 2 responds better to treatment with acyclovir than 1 (if one goes the pharmaceutical route).
I think this is an important topic. People are unaware that they can get herpes in their mouth and how easily transmissible it is via kissing. It has caused me a lot of grief over the years, not only in terms of physical pain but the expense (missed work, periodontal surgeries [gum grafts from roof of mouth to cover exposed roots of teeth] trying to save my teeth, medication, etc.) and the social complications.
Fortunately I have never given it to anyone else and have never been "dumped" because of it; perhaps because I have been honest about it with my boyfriends. ??
Oh well, there are much worse one can have!
Namaste
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