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Lin's Magic

Light from the scented votive candle flickers through its cut-glass holder and dances around my desk in the pre-dawn. Behind the candle, a sprig of indoor ivy in a bud vase casts wavering shadows on the wall. I sit and type in the dome of the candle glow. The plant and candle are a package of Muse Helper from the ancient Asian apothecary of Lin, the Feng Shui lady. This little creative "Chi jumpstart" is just one of Lin’s mojo tricks.

Health and wealth Chi also flows freely around our home these days. Before, the Chi bumped into ill-placed furniture and smacked into walls where mirrors should have been. Now energy caroms happily about the place, making bank shots from one aspect of our lives to the next. Spare change rushes into our coin jars, and our cheeks flush with color.

And here I thought Feng Shui was just a frivolous and expensive entertainment activity for veterans marching at the head of the Baby Boomers parade.

This was Sharon's idea, but I went along with it. I have a thesis that is not original with me, and it is this: At our age, and by that I mean the "Golden Years", one cannot treat one's spouse too well, not just with money, but time and attention too. Nothing pays off better at this time of life. It is probably true at other stages too, but I never noticed in this way before. When Sharon reads this, she will go, "What...where...when did this start...did I miss something?" Women reading this will show it to their husbands and boyfriends, who will wonder why I don't mind my own business.

Sharon saw a big article on Feng Shui in the Review Journal (Vegas rag) and contacted this authentic looking Asian babe, Lin, who agreed to travel, for her fee, some ninety miles to our rural setting and rig our environment for enhanced relationship, prosperity, and health.

Of course we are stuck with the physical structure of our place and the direction it faces. The cardinal points of the compass, and which way things face, are supremely important in Feng Shui. Each has specific influence on different parts of our lives. For instance, if you enter your home and find yourself facing out a window or door as you enter, it means all your money will fly away. (And I thought all our flying money was because of the stuff Sharon likes to buy! Silly me.) When you walk through our front door, you are looking across the living room, straight out to a range of mountains that extend some fifty miles, to the south no less, which is like a magnet for loose money according to the Feng Shui party line.

While geography can't be changed, the "Master" can recommend various chatchkas and spells to counteract the regrettable tendencies of our homes. She just happens to have a gallery in Vegas filled with objects to frustrate the ill Fates.

Feng Shui is a mystery to me. Isn't it magical, for instance, how one can increase their wealth so easily, by simply opening one's wallet while facing north (the direction of Vegas). Many people here in our town have tried to increase their wealth by traveling north to leave their offerings at the casinos. We got to stay home and have prosperity visit us!

It is maybe a little soon to evaluate how things are going. Though we’ve made most of the major changes, there are a few crystals yet to hang, red tape to wrap, closets to revamp, and Foo Dogs to place. In fact, the very spot from which I write this is, except for the candle and ivy, a black hole booby trap for success of all types. That is why I am calling in “well” to work today, so I can stay home and “Feng Shui” the chi ambush we know as the library/office.

Still, I have noticed the nagging stomach discomfort I have experienced for the last two and a half years is gone. More impressive is the eighteen thousand dollars that promises to arrive in two surprising lump sums.

I can’t believe the nonsense I am suggesting! The stomach thing has gone before and come back. The money may have come anyway. Time will tell. In the meantime, I muse/chuckle over proselytizing, the placebo effect, true believing, charlatanism, New Age western naiveté, and…my bank account.

Re: Lin's Magic

Re: Lin's Magic

Re: Lin's Magic

Re: Lin's Magic