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I think I would have made a passable monk, Walt. Strolling under
arbors, growing grapes and making wine and all, eating bread and
cheese at long communal tables, sitting in my little cell with a high
window showing only sky, and with a single bed and a night
stand...and a laptop with wifi, of course. I would renounce the world,
but not give up peeking at it.
No paperwork or bills for me, no sir, just sandals and a robe with a
cowl, which is close enough to pajamas to suit me. I would dedicate
my particular form of sloth to a higher power, and I would lip sync
Latin chants at worship services (from the back row, with a little
added air guitar).
I would be the Ferdinand the Bull of the Monastery, pick a grape, eat
a grape, pick a grape, eat a grape...innocently (well...almost) breaking
all sorts of vows, enabled by a kindly but ineffectual abbot who,
along with the brothers, would dance around, like the nuns in The
Sound of Music, singing "How do you solve a problem like Jim?"
But I would be more or less tolerated by the others, just in case my
eccentricity should turn out to be a bit Franciscan. After all, a whole
order could spring up after me...for all they know I might take up the
cause of pigeons, or invent a new liqueur. Monks are not required to
be politically correct you know; think of Rasputin, Thelonious, Adrian,
or Sophie (Google them if you're not sure).
But then, I suppose there is a downside associated with a monastic
life too. I might fall in with a gang of contemplatives and hang
around on street corners, shamelessly thinking deep thoughts from
paper bags. Plus there's that vow of poverty, and ink cartridges are
expensive, and I might need s new operating system upgrade.
So maybe things are OK the way they are, here in my little
condastery...my mondominium. No real need to trade my baseball
cap for a hood, I guess. I have most of the advantages of the
monastic life style as it is, though I don't think I could ever get
Sharon to go along with a vow of silence...and I'll stop right there, at
the edge of husband/wife humor, because I know what's good for
me.