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Leaky gut has become all the rage out here in CA, Walt. It’s more
popular than gout and tight belt syndrome, and has even earned its
own capital letter abbreviation for its banner. LGS is gaining on
many of the chronic standby diseases, whose limited symptom-base
is proving unsatisfactory to the demanding West Coast population.
In fact, LGS appears to assimilate the other diagnoses as it passes
them, much as the Borg do. Resistance is futile.
As a budding celebrity, LGS has drawn the attention of the snake oil
crowd. Smooth talking money makers are already hawking one
bottle cure-alls for the catch-all disease.
“Ladies and gentlemen, you are not a hypochondriac or malingerer,
there really is something wrong with you, and it is LGS. And I have
here, the one thing that will vanquish this scourge and free you to
live as you deserve. Step right up and lighten your wallet.”
Imagine, everything that could possibly have anything to do with
LGS, included in any one of a dozen “silver bullet” elixirs offered
today. Just perfect for today’s citizenry. Radiant health, just a swig
away.
The miracle cures will no doubt fail profitably, but at least leaky gut
is out there in the marketplace, on the shelves, where disease
shoppers can find it. And because of that, there is the chance that
LGS could become the malady of the era, for the reason that it is so
closely linked to our soul-sick society.
LGS is an expression of lacking consciousness, individually and
collectively. Its causes and symptoms are indistinguishable, a
seeming paradox. Paradoxes, it is known, are only resolved on a
higher level. The same holistic approach that will alleviate LGS will
also alleviate much of humanity’s misery.
But couldn’t we get a better name for it, Walt?! Jeez! No ad exec
worth their salt would ever saddle such a promising pandemic with
such an undignified name. How about Leaky Tao Syndrome? That
would build a more positive brand recognition and create a little
pride among the sufferers. LGS definitely needs management
overhaul.