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A large tub of plain yogurt sits in our refrigerator as proof of our
healthy life style and the hint of our Spartan temperament. More so,
it is a sacrifice to the guilt gods for certain of our indulgent eating
habits.
The plain stuff is a bitter tormentor of the tongue No surprise that
the good qualities of its harsh flavor were only found out about by
accident. Who would have thought to do such yucky things to milk
on purpose? That is why there is only one row of plain at the store,
while there are five rows of strawberry. What did you think?
Some people convince themselves that it is tasty, or they point out
that it has no sugar, which is bad, so the taste is worth it, so much
so that they will start saying they like it, and if not, well, then the
probiotic culture makes it medicinal, so, get over the bad taste!
Around here, plain yogurt will sit in the refrigerator for a long time,
with only a small portion of it used. By and by, if not the next day, a
sweet-flavored yogurt will find its way into the refrigerator, right
next to the idle plain one. That cannot make their relationship any
easier.
But since it is a soured, curdled creation, its shelf life is just short of
forever, worse even than V-8 juice, which lasts a few millennia or so,
and even the Twinkie, that stays fresh-looking so long it has its own
geologic timeline, the one in which we now live, called the Age of the
Golden Sponge Cake. And so we begin to keep in mind the
expiration date on the plain, to know when to end the pretense and
toss it, turning all those billions of lactobacilli loose on an
unsuspecting environment. Maybe they will eat the dangerous
chemicals they will encounter there. Air-head thinking is an
addiction you know.
The title was a shameless bid for readership. Might not have gotten
read, but I'll bet it got opened a lot.