Candida Archives

My Candidiasis

[ Candida Archive ]
[ Main Archives Page ] [ Glossary/Index ]
[ FAQ ] [ Recommended Books ] [ Bulletin Board ]
   Search this site!
 
        

My Candidiasis

Posted by
John Henebry on June 23, 1999 at 01:02:51:

Dr. Stoll,

My name is John Henebry. Let me as briefly as possible explain why I emailed and hopefully this will be the beginning of something very positive. I have had epilepsy since I was 5. I am now 42 years old. I was on various anticonvulsants from the age of 5 to 36. At 36, I decided I would try to heal myself naturally so with the disapproving acceptance of my neurologist, we weaned me off of the anticonvulsant I was on at the time. The anticonvulsants stopped the seizures but I still had depression and anxiety (although the anxiety I wasn't aware of as much as the depression-and even the depression I thought was semi-normal because I had felt like this my whole life; I thought it was just my serious way of acting). For 4 years I was not on any anticonvulsants. I gave up my driving license among other things. In the Fall of '97 things took a turn for the worse. My depression and anxiety got worse. I started having anxiety attacks, more obsessive thoughts than before, and worst of all, suicidal thoughts. I had experienced these in the past sporadically but never so frequently and not with as much intensity. The last year and two-thirds has been the most difficult, trying, heart wrenching time of my life. However, I have never learned as much as I have in the past two years in many respects. Over the past two years I have gone on low dosages of depakote (divalproex) and come off of them. Now I am on 2-250mg tablets per day along with manganese picolinate and chromium picolinate from my naturopath. I have become more active over the past year and work has become more stressful, both of which have caused my seizure level to increase. I don't like medicine because of the side affects but now I look at it as a necessary, temporary (I have hope!) evil. I had a stool test done about 6 months ago for candidiasis that came back negative. Then about three months ago I had a blood antibody test done because someone I knew said I should have both done. Sure enough, my blood test came back positive with a score that my naturopath said was very high. From the reading I have done it appears that many of my toxins stay in the brain? Also, my epilepsy is located right next to my limbic center so I have always thought there was a connection between my seizures and my emotions. I also have a weak adrenal gland (as diagnosed by a hair analysis), hypoglycemia and fibromyalgia. When I get stressed out for whatever reason ( I get tired very easily and am very sensitive to stimuli, especially sound) my obsessive thoughts (among them the suicidal thoughts, less infrequently homicidal thoughts) kick in and I spend all my energy trying to control them. Whenever I find a method of treatment that seems to help, first my seizure level goes up and then I become Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde. I finally have to stop the treatment because I can't handle the negative emotions on a day to day basis. If I am correct, my emotional pain is my body trying to clean itself out. The past 2 years I have come a long way in getting rid of wheat,sugar and caffeine, reducing my carbohydrates, and increasing my protein and fat. However, it doesn't always seem to work the way my naturopath says it is supposed to. Am I experiencing die-off? My immune system is definitely compromised. I hope I have not started to ask for help too late. If you knew the kind of person that I am, you'd know I was not exaggerating. I would like your opinion, even if it has to wait till August. In the meantime, who do you suggest I email to ask questions and learn more about my situation and what I can do for myself. Lastly, what do you think of Dr. Hulda Clark's and Dr. Beck's electronic devices-the zapper and silver pulser, magnetic pulser, etc? What do you think of Dr. William Philpott's (theory?) about magnetism and how it has helped 100% of his patients with seizures. I want to thank you for taking the time to read this email. Sorry it was longer than expected. I was trying to fit in what I thought was


Sick and tired of being sick and tired,


John Henebry



Re: My Candidiasis

Posted by
Lisa on June 23, 1999 at 10:36:09:

In Reply to: My Candidiasis posted by John Henebry on June 23, 1999 at 01:02:51:

It takes a lot of courage to open up the way you have here. Don't stop opening up. When you're so far down, it's hard to believe there's an up. THERE IS AN UP, and you do have control (although I'm sure it doesn't feel that way right now.) Until the good doctor(s) can give you some comprehensive advice, please know that you are not alone. I'm sending you peace through the vapors. Anxiety and depression are intimate partners. Obsessive thoughts are one manifestation of anxiety. I am new to skilled relaxation, but it seems to be a powerful tool...my first encounter with an ACTIVE tool for relaxation (it sounds like a contradiction in terms - but it works) Something you can DO to relax (this is not about just "unwinding" at the end of a tough day, it's about changing your thoughts) Read the BB archives on Skilled Relaxation. There's a metaphor about having to step away from the edge of the cliff before you can really begin to benefit. That might apply to you.. Reach out for some PHYSICAL intervention (like massage, rolfing, etc.) That is what I'm going to do. Drugs may help during a period of recovery. Don't be scared! Keep letting go of everything - minute by minute. I'm going to get you the names of a couple of books I've found instructive. (I'm waiting to receive all the books I've ordered from searching this website) In response to your thought about emotional pain as "your body trying to clean itself out" I must say I've never found emotional pain to be anything except a demand for change. My body never got healthier FROM pain - but only in response to what I did to RELIEVE it. We learn compassion from suffering, but there's no virtue in continuing to suffer. You deserve to feel free of pain. I'll be getting back with those titles...HANG ON



Re: My Candidiasis (NOT "My candidiasis")

Posted by Walt Stoll on June 24, 1999 at 09:37:39:

In Reply to: My Candidiasis posted by John Henebry on June 23, 1999 at 01:02:51:

Hi, John.

First I would like to persuade you to stop a habit that many of us have: this is not "your candidiasis", or "your epilepsy" or "your depression". Once we begin calling it that, we are owning it: the first step toward it defining who we are rather than relegating it to its proper place as an AFFLICTION of who we are. Making sense? Better to say "the candidiasis" or "the depression", etc.

Next, you are right that all of your cerebral symptoms are greatly influenced by your brain chemistry WHICH IS ALTERABLE BY THINGS UNDER YOUR CONTROL.

Finally, it has been known for many years that people could be trained to recognize oncoming seizures and stop them with the simple skills associated with the regular practice of skilled relaxation. Dogs can be trained to recognize oncoming seizures even earlier than the patient can which makes it even easier to stop them with those skills.

The one thing I see in your history is the glaring absence of any mention of your having those skills. Since they are BY FAR the most important thing anyone with seizures & depression can do to reverse this, the first thing you need to do is become a student of the process & practice it at least twice a day for 20 minutes. For you 3-4 times a day, till your condition is stabilized, would work faster.

If you are unfamiliar with SR, go to the glossary, the homepage and the archives to catch up.

Once you have this as a powerful part of your daily activities, and you have more questions, write again. Without this factor none of the other things that would help are going to help as much. Philpott's magnesium IS a positive thing but, by itself, not nearly as powerful as magnesium in association with SR.

As you get well, I hope you will take the time to share your experiences with the BB participants. Others deserve to know that this is not something you have to live with for the rest of your life.

Walt



Re: My Candidiasis

Posted by
Lisa on June 24, 1999 at 10:54:16:

In Reply to: My Candidiasis posted by John Henebry on June 23, 1999 at 01:02:51:

OK, now I'm thinking that maybe you don't want to be told to go find some book and read it. And maybe more than anything you really need some face-to-face assistance/advice/etc. I'm basing my opinion in my own experiences with obsessive/compulsive disorder. I think you're experiencing anxiety. And I think living with epilepsy would set up something that could be very anxiety producing. When will the next seizure occur? What will happen when it does? And maybe what I'm saying doesn't relate at all, but maybe you need to explore EVERYTHING. Acute and/or long-term anxiety or repressed hurt or anger can all lead to depression. I thought of myself when you said "just my serious way of acting". And obsessive thoughts are the haunt of an exhausted mind. As long as you "spend all your energy trying to control them" they will never be controlled. They are separate from you. Let them play. Watch them. Become detached from them. They are powerless. The most horrible thing you can think of is no more horrible than a thing anyone can think of. Your emotions and seizures may not be physiologically connected. One may be a reaction to the other. This is not a simple thing, and that is why I really want to recommend this book: The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook, by Edmund J. Bourne. I wouldn't ever expect a book to "heal me" but the book can help your understanding. Seeing yourself in an understanding way will again let you know you're not alone. All the time, more and more people are developing anxiety-related pain. (Or maybe are just more willing to express it) Panic attacks, phobias, obsessive-compulsive…it manifests in SO many ways, every person expresses a unique model. The book talks about that, but, more importantly, may help you find some direction to take towards overcoming this. You are at the beginning of a journey. It would be a mistake not to give yourself PLENTY of time to make the trip. It would be a mistake not to gather all the provisions you need for the trip. It would be a mistake not to critically choose those you will employ as guides for the trip (people who really know the terrain and have successfully taken travelers through it before!) Your writing tells me you're an intelligent and insightful person. You've got what you need to GET what you need. You're looking, you're asking, YOU'LL FIND. It would be presumptuous for me to assume that I understand exactly what you're feeling, but I just sense a kindred soul, and I want to offer any help I can. You may contact me if you like. The other book I thought of is really kinda simplistic, but I'll mention it in case anybody else reads this and sees something familiar. It would probably be useful only after you're able to reach a place where you can talk to your mind (and have your mind listen) It talks about how our beliefs affect our thoughts and actions, it's: What to Say When You Talk to Yourself, by Shad Helmstetter. I hope all the best for you. Let me know if I can help.



...just one more (really long) thing...

Posted by
Lisa on June 24, 1999 at 17:46:26:

In Reply to: Re: My Candidiasis (NOT "My candidiasis") posted by Walt Stoll on June 24, 1999 at 09:37:39:

Dr. Stoll is able to see so many aspects of a situation, and to distill them, or know when they shouldn't be distilled! I am so envious of his knowledge! I have just started reading his book and it's wonderful. I recommend it to you. SR is a part of the only permanent resolution. THIS IS AMAZINGLY USEFUL INFORMATION. The book I recommended (by Edmund Bourne) talks about meditation and the importance of spirituality (with or without religion) in resolving anxiety disorder. It falls just short of the verifiable aspect of brainwave biofeedback (I realize now that's a serious shortcoming) But I really want to give you this incredibly long quote here, which I think really drives home the importance of Skilled Relaxation:

"It has been my repeated impression that obsessive-compulsive individuals are very wound up and tense. They appear to be almost continually in a state of high stress…Accompanying this state of high tension is a tendency to be very out of touch with their bodies and their feelings. Sufferers from this disorder are frequently very intelligent and tend to spend a lot of time ruminating in their heads, at the expense of being centered and relaxed in their bodies and able to experience their feelings (my interjection = this is where SR comes in!) In short, such individuals often appear dissociated from their bodies…
Because of this, obsessive-compulsive sufferers [experience sensitization] to their own internal thoughts, sensations or impulses…..In the case of a person with obsessions only-such as obsessions with death or illness or causing injury…there is even less dependence on an external situation…
I believe a more lasting solution to this problem may be found in dealing with the tension that I mentioned before; that is, trying to undo the condition of being "speeded up" and out-of touch with your body and feelings. This is not something you can do quickly on the spur of the moment. It requires lifestyle changes and a fundamental change of attitude…"

To me this is all pointing back to SR! And the 3-legged stool of wellness!

He mentions, too, that sometimes OC people will have a very negative initial reaction as they begin meditation. As meditation brings them "back-in-touch" with their bodies and feelings, they may have emotional reactions (painful or just very strong) I know that massage therapists are trained to be ready for this initial reaction to deep massage as well. You need to be ready to start slowly, back away, come at it again, and not be frightened off by what happens along the way.

For myself, with the faltering start I have only just recently made (unverified) I have already found great benefits. I am sleeping better and just generally feel happier. I, too, experienced a heightened sensitivity to various stimuli, and that's already fading. I am excited to be on this path. I'm a pilgrim who's just landed on the shore (so of course I'm anxiously waving my arms at those just offshore) Again, my best to you.




Re: ...just one more (really long) thing... (Archive under SR.)

Posted by Walt Stoll on June 25, 1999 at 17:04:06:

In Reply to: ...just one more (really long) thing... posted by Lisa on June 24, 1999 at 17:46:26:

Thanks, Lisa.

Wonderful stuff! Congratulations! You are really beginning to understand this stuff.

Namaste`

Walt



Re: ...just one more (really long) thing... (Archive under SR.)

Posted by John Henebry on June 25, 1999 at 19:07:06:

In Reply to: Re: ...just one more (really long) thing... (Archive under SR.) posted by Walt Stoll on June 25, 1999 at 17:04:06:

Lisa and Dr. Stoll,

I just wanted to say thank-you for your thoughtful responses. I am looking into several different options while trying not to spread myself too thin. I will keep you posted with any questions I have or anything interesting I hear about. If either one of you has any opinion/gut feelings/facts about Dr. Hulda Clark's Zapper and Dr. Robert Becker's Brain Tuner, Magnetic Pulser, Colloidal Silver Maker, etc., please let me know. Thank you again.



Re: ...just 3 more things...

Posted by Walt Stoll on June 26, 1999 at 16:43:00:

In Reply to: Re: ...just one more (really long) thing... (Archive under SR.) posted by John Henebry on June 25, 1999 at 19:07:06:

Thanks, John.

I am VERY familiar with Dr Becker's work. He will be considered one of the fathers of electromagnetic medicine in the 21st century.

I am less familiar with Hulda Clark's work. Hoiwever what little I do know tells me that she has something. I just hope the "quackbusters" don't burn her books & laboratories before we can learn just what it is she does have.

Colloidal silver was used at the turn of the century & discarded as pretty toxic in the long run. Then, when antibiotics came in, it sort of just faded away. It is a heavy metal and as such is always toxic. I wouldn't worry with short treatments but as a repetitive thing, or long term, I am not ready to do it on myself yet.

Walt



[ Candida Archive ]
[ Main Archives Page ] [ Glossary/Index ]
[ FAQ ] [ Recommended Books ] [ Bulletin Board ]
   Search this site!