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I'm a nineteen year old girl and I think I'm confused about what sex I like.I am attracted to guys, but when I have sex with them, I cannot cum.
I really really try to, but I just cannot have an orgasm. I have had little orgasms before, so I do know what it is supposed to feel like.
I find myself thinking about women. The thought of a woman's body turns me on. I know that I like men, but why do I feel like I own myself the chance to try to cum with a girl?
I was thinking that other things could be wrong with me, and that's why I can't cum during sex. I'm no an antidepressant called Prozac so that might be why. And I had bad experiences with sex. When I was fourteen I had an abortion and that really scarred me. I haven't been close to cumming since.
Just because I feel like men don't adequately arouse and satisfy me, does that mean I'm gay?
Sorry about all of the questions but I just wanted to give you details so that you could help me. Thank you so much for your time!
~Confused In Baltimore
In Reply to: need advice badly! posted by S. Scott on October 22, 2002 at 17:24:39:
You are only 19, and you've been having sex for over 5 years. Sex is not making you happy. There is a lot out there in the big world besides sex. You are already on Prozac! Take a break from sex and find out who you are. Develop your mind and self-esteem. Since you are at this site, read away, and learn some things. It might save you a lot of grief down the road. Try Skilled Relaxation, for instance. Once you gain more control over yourself and your life, you will be able to deal with relationships (sex without relationships is always going to suck on some level)in a more satisfying way. Good luck, and don't forget that God gave you hands so you could do it yourself.
In Reply to: need advice badly! posted by S. Scott on October 22, 2002 at 17:24:39:
My advice would be to get some counseling.
In Reply to: need advice badly! posted by S. Scott on October 22, 2002 at 17:24:39:
Since you had a bad experience with a guy
that would affect future experiences with
them. I think you know what gender you
prefer but don't want the problem you had
before. You were young and youngsters make
mistakes. The one you made was very serious
so you should learn from that and it should
make you even More interested in finding out
how to prevent a pregnancy if you continue
to have sex with a male. Sex with a female is
safe but is that what you really want ? It
may take trying it to find out for sure but
I think it is just the saftey while trying
to have an orgasm that is attractive.
Talking to older wemen about what you
should expect may help. Being a guy I can't
really say but there are things you can use
to bring yourself to orgasm while you sort
out your preferences. I Think like your
pregnancy that jumping into bed with a female
may be something else you will have to live
with and get over Unless that is Really what
you want. Think before you act and you won't
create the problems. Sex is Great but it can
create children and unless you want one at
That time you have to know how to avoid it.
In Reply to: need advice badly! posted by S. Scott on October 22, 2002 at 17:24:39:
You are so young and still exploring who you are. If you want to be with a woman, go for it. Nothing wrong with being bi-sexual. There are millions of us females out there who like both men and women. Don't worry about getting into a relationship. Also, you are quite young to be on Prozac. Practice having an orgasm by masturbating so you can get to know yourself and learn about your body. Do some research and have fun. You are way too young to have such problems.
In Reply to: Re: need advice badly! posted by Stacee on October 23, 2002 at 20:55:38:
FYI....unless you throw your bible out the window, or burn it GOD SAYS NOT TO LAY WITH THE SAME SEX. No sex I've ever had was worth ETERNAL HELL FIRE! NLT: 9Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders 10nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. So, you see, homosexual acts are associated with liars, cheaters and the wicked.....I think I could do without an orgasm if I had to....
In Reply to: need advice badly! posted by S. Scott on October 22, 2002 at 17:24:39:
Hi, S.
Listen to cris, Stacee, John & Lyndsie.
MY 2 cents is: Orgasm is only possible when complete trust is there and one is willing to "give in" to what is happening. You may be able to be more trusting with a woman just like some women are more comfortable with a female doctor. This does not mean you are gay which is a genetic propensity.
I agree that you are too young to be having sex be such a big thing in your life. Counseling would help with the right person. Anyone who comes at you with a religious bent you need to avoid like the plague. As Ghandi said: "There is no religion in heaven. Thank God!"
See the sex archives.
Let us know how you do.
Walt
In Reply to: Re: need advice badly! posted by T. Roberts on October 24, 2002 at 08:22:24:
Isn't perception amazing?
In Reply to: need advice badly! posted by S. Scott on October 22, 2002 at 17:24:39:
Prozac can definately make it impossible to have a climax. If you feel like you are getting close, but never do, then it could be the Prozac. There are newer antidepresants out there that do not have sexual side effects. Discuss this with your doctor and ask to be switched to a different drug.
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