|
[ Sex Questions Archive ] [ Main Archives Page ] [ Glossary/Index ] [ FAQ ] [ Recommended Books ] [ Bulletin Board ] |
Search this site! | |
My boyfriend and I have tried many differnt postions, condoms and ways of having sex, we have even tried toys and oral. But I am never able to orgasm! I can't even (pardon the pharse...but.. ) get myself off with my own fingers. Dont get me wrong, everything we have tried feels pretty good! It just never becomes intense.
Is there something physicaly wrong with me?
I need help!
Thank you!
In Reply to: Cant orgasm posted by Frusterated on June 03, 2003 at 14:00:30:
There is probably nothing wrong with you. You just have to figure out what is holding you back. I would guess it is something mental more than physical. I am no professional at knowing how to go about figuring that out. But I had a girlfriend that had the same problem. 95% of the time she could not get off. Oral sex worked for her but I think it was all in her mind. Maybe she was more comfortable with one over the other or was unable to let go completley.
Just seek some help like you are and hopefully somebody will be able to help you find out what is missing.
Good luck
In Reply to: Re: Cant orgasm posted by JASON on June 03, 2003 at 14:52:29:
Sorry to hear of you not being able to orgasm. That would be frustrating! Just something you may want to check into....I've heard before of people having this problem and they had a flap of skin growing over their clitoris that they had to have removed. don't know what it's called but sounded like it was fairly easy to correct. Have you ever had an orgasm or just not with this partner? Good luck!
In Reply to: Re: Cant orgasm posted by JASON on June 03, 2003 at 14:52:29:
Thanks for the advice Jason!
I will try to get in a more relaxed mind frame.
hopefully that will help :)
In Reply to: Cant orgasm posted by Frusterated on June 03, 2003 at 14:00:30:
Third time of posting. Dont know what went wrong.
I just think you are one of the many women who simply dont orgasm from sexual intercourse. There are lots of us. I am one of them. Dont worry about it, but just stimulate yourself for it. I think it may be the actual physical position of the clitoris. It's nothing to worry about.
Regards.
In Reply to: Cant orgasm posted by Frusterated on June 03, 2003 at 14:00:30:
Thanks Lyndsey!
I actually just had a pelvic exam. and the docter said evcerything was normal. So im not sure if that could be it but thank you for the advice! I have had two partners. and neither of them were able to help. but then again, I cant even do it to myself! so Im not sure what to do. but thanks anyway!
In Reply to: Cant orgasm posted by Frusterated on June 03, 2003 at 14:00:30:
You may want to see a sex therapist or doctor about this, if you are unable to orgasm, even through self stimulation.
Have you ever had an orgasm?
In Reply to: Re: Cant orgasm posted by knowing on June 03, 2003 at 18:00:19:
<>
In Reply to: Cant orgasm posted by Frusterated on June 03, 2003 at 14:00:30:
Hi Frusterated,
How's your energy level and general physical health? You might be too tired (if you work too hard) and not have enough energy, that might be a cause. Chronic illness (again, low energy) can also be a cause.
Does the relationship have something to do with it? If you don't love or trust your boyfriend, that might also be a cause.
Where's your mind? Some people also stay too much in their minds and need to really concentrate on the feelings in their bodies to have this experience.
Walt sometimes recommends a book called "For Myself" which gives guidance for this. I cannot remember the author's name.
Best wishes,
Happygal
In Reply to: Cant orgasm posted by Frusterated on June 03, 2003 at 14:00:30:
Are you taking birth control pills? When I was on them, I had the same problem, but it stopped once I got off of them. Hormone imbalances play a big part in orgasms.
In Reply to: Cant orgasm posted by Frusterated on June 03, 2003 at 14:00:30:
Just thought this could be your problem.
In Reply to: Re: Cant orgasm posted by Anon on June 03, 2003 at 21:07:30:
They also play a huge part in sex drive. I had literally no sex drive whilst on the pill. Could have gone without sex for the rest of my life if I had stayed on it.
The BC pill has some nasty side efffects, and the small benefits are hardl worth the risk to your health.
In Reply to: Re: Cant orgasm posted by Maria on June 04, 2003 at 01:33:45:
Or maybe it was just another feature of BC pill, not a side effect? Not wanting to have sex seems like a good contraception to me.
In Reply to: Cant orgasm posted by Frusterated on June 03, 2003 at 14:00:30:
Hi, Frustrated.
You both need to become students of the "Kama Sutra". OR learn about the "tantra of sex".
Let us know what you learn and how you do.
Walt
In Reply to: Cant orgasm posted by Frusterated on June 03, 2003 at 14:00:30:
I had the same problem,wich turned out was no problem I did not exactly know what to expect from an orgasm.All my friends I think exaggerated on what it was like.And all the adult movies make it seem really intense.I knew there was something but i expected more I am just not a really strong or intense orgasmic person,and the way I knew that it was an orgasm was I got really sensitive around my clitoris and did not want it to be touched with nothing not even a tongue.Is it possible you are having an orgasm but don't realize it because you expect more
In Reply to: Re: Cant orgasm posted by same problem on June 04, 2003 at 09:47:00:
I think everyone is individual and I dont think it IS exaggerated at all. Maybe some people's bodies just experience the intensity more for whatever reason. You know, kind of like some people can excel at certain things in life and get a rush from that, and others wouldnt understand. Just different individual experiences.
BUT, you should definitely know for sure when you have one, other than just being sensitive around the clitorus. Its more of a sudden, extremely heightened, tremendous release where one can almost lose consciousness, at least thats been my experience.
Maybe this also comes with being very aware of one's body from a young age, as I was, and with experience and time maybe one's bodily responses become more heightened. dunno. just surmising here.
In Reply to: Re: Cant orgasm posted by same problem on June 04, 2003 at 09:47:00:
Hi, Same.
You have to completely abandon yourself to the process to have an orgasm. You are really missing out. Get the Kama Sutra and both you and your partner read it to get started.
Let us know what happens.
Walt
In Reply to: Re: Cant orgasm posted by Walt Stoll on June 05, 2003 at 07:55:49:
when you say "abandon yourself"
do you mean
relax, let yourself go
with the flow,
so to speak?
I guess another thing,
"same problem" is
dont try too hard, or
concentrate too much
on achieving something.
let whatever happen,
happen, dont try and
force it or have expectations.
Look at it as a self experiment
if you willl.
In Reply to: Re: Cant orgasm posted by knowing on June 03, 2003 at 18:00:19:
I agree. It helps if your partner (or even you, but I prefer my partner) stimulates the clitoris while he's inside.
In Reply to: Re: Cant orgasm posted by Anon on June 05, 2003 at 08:15:38:
Thanks, Anon.
It is kind of like going to sleep. No one can make themselves go to sleep. At some point, they have to "give in" to the process and THAT is when they actually go to sleep. One has to trust their partner enough that at some point they give in to the physiological process and get "swept away".
Hope this helps.
Walt
|
[ Sex Questions Archive ] [ Main Archives Page ] [ Glossary/Index ] [ FAQ ] [ Recommended Books ] [ Bulletin Board ] |
Search this site! | |