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What do you do if you want to have sex, but you are not the type of person to sleep around and you are sick of masterbating. Is there another level to get too--will SR help? I don't know what to do, and this is a serious problem that needs advice. I would appreciate any answers, and please don't ban this post---I am being totally seroius.
In Reply to: sex question posted by serious on May 23, 2001 at 02:34:33:
I know how you feel but SR can help but also try to get out and socialize to meet new potential partners for a meaning relationship and part of this can be a healthy sexual relationship. Sure sex is nice but it can be so much more meaningful and fulfulling in a relationship. If it is to the point of frustration maybe some counceling would help you focus on what may need to be done to get involved in a whole relationship, not just for sex. But then again, if sex is all you want, that is a different story. see what Dr. Stoll has to say... best of luck....
In Reply to: Re: sex question posted by trying to help... on May 23, 2001 at 03:45:06:
Think about getting married. Of course, this would be to someone you wish to spend your life with.
Outside of marriage, sex falls into the category of personal gratification. Now, people get gratification in all sorts of ways, some innocent, some not.
Some free thinkers will tell you this is absurd and offer a version of the old playboy philosophy - if it doesen't hurt anyone, it's ok. It would hurt you, unless of course you have absolutely no conscience.
Your sense of wellbeing, wellness etc. won't ultimately come from diet, sr or sexual gratification, but more from the sense of value you have in yourself.
Sex outside of love and marriage is just another way to erode that.
In Reply to: Re: sex question posted by Dr. Laura on May 23, 2001 at 11:15:35:
I agree 100%!
Good luck
In Reply to: sex question posted by serious on May 23, 2001 at 02:34:33:
ANY advise attempting to influence your behaviour and "morals" by "Laura" types perceiving themselves to be voices of "morality" should be ignored. These woman feel threatened by young males ready to experiment. Don't fall for it. Any realizations about "values" are not realizations at all. They are the product of experimentation and a sense of self that only develops through acting on your own choices. No one can tell you what to do. In reality, you don't WANT anyone to tell you what to do. Utltimately, the truth you seek is the truth you act upon - and that requires courage. Your personal needs are valid, not subject to definition by talking heads. You're not a bad person for wanting to take the next step. Just take it easy.
In Reply to: Re: sex question posted by - Voice of experience on May 23, 2001 at 20:18:33:
I pity the poor woman who marries you, or even considers it!
In Reply to: sex question posted by serious on May 23, 2001 at 02:34:33:
Try to get what you can from the positive responses you
get on this board. There are some really negative mean
people that post. Ignore them and look for the good.
In Reply to: sex question posted by serious on May 23, 2001 at 02:34:33:
You might study about Tantra energy and get a good book on spiritual sexuality which is a tantra study with exercise for highening your own vibration all the way thru your body; Find one person that is into the same spirtual growth as you and get married is a great idea, see we know what you should do-ha!
In Reply to: Re: sex question posted by - Voice of experience on May 23, 2001 at 20:18:33:
Man-you are so 60's, so way it shoulda been 50's, so focused, and like me, so passe.
In Reply to: Re: sex question posted by Hef on May 23, 2001 at 22:17:14:
Moires change, human nature does not.
In Reply to: Re: sex question posted by Voice of more experience on May 23, 2001 at 20:40:20:
Men and women who think for themselves are not to be pitied. Pity those whose lives are a parody of truth. Love is not the product of your "due process." It is the unique experience of those who taste life, live it, learn from it, and ultimately share it. Your "rules" only frustrate the path to that reality.
In Reply to: Re: sex question posted by Dr. Laura on May 23, 2001 at 11:15:35:
A mind so narrow and a head so big. Doesn't it rattle around in there? By the way nice nudie pictures on the internet Ms Save it for marriage. And lambasting people to fix relationsips with relatives while you estranged yours.
Tsk tsk Dr L
In Reply to: Re: sex question posted by voice of experience on May 23, 2001 at 22:36:23:
nmi
In Reply to: Re: Dr Laura posted by Exposed on May 24, 2001 at 05:07:33:
Why talk like this.....
Ridiculous....
A shame...
This BB is for positive info not tearing up others....
In Reply to: sex question posted by serious on May 23, 2001 at 02:34:33:
What exactly are you looking for?? I don't understand. Are you addicted to having sexual experiences? Don't you get other pleasures in life that are just as meaningful? Why don't you get married? All I have to say is if you plan on having sex with someone just for the sake of having sex, you ought to go out and get a vasectomy so you don't reproduce. You may think I'm out of line for saying that...but really, I think we all got the message that you don't want your sexual pleasure to go beyond selfish ideation. Certainly not to create a child, or to form an emotional attachment.
Your really missing out. I have an awsome sex life with my husband. In fact we tease each other all day long, every day, and after four years we are still totally 100% in love too. After having a baby together, we were even more crazy about each other. It's fun to have a life long partner that you can "experiment" with, and never have to worry about "sleeping around" or "catching something". Right now we are having alot of fun trying to have another baby. I could never ask for anything better in my life.
In Reply to: Re: sex question posted by totally serious on May 24, 2001 at 12:52:48:
you got it all wrong. I am a girl, and I don't have sex just to have sex. You have a husbad, I am too young to get married and I would like someone in my life, but I haven't met the right one. I am an attractive person and I get hit on by alot of guys, but I don't have sex with them b/c I want to wait to be in love.
In Reply to: you got it all wrong--i'm a girl posted by aa on May 24, 2001 at 17:33:46:
It's human nature--sex is a need. Anyone heard of Maslow's levels of hierarchy. Sex is right up there with food and water.
In Reply to: Re: Dr Laura posted by Exposed on May 24, 2001 at 05:07:33:
Oh, people seem to LOVE tearing Dr. Laura down. Never mind that the people who are calling her are asking for her opinion. If she gives it, she's a narrowminded witch for doing so.
IMHO, the best teachers are the ones who have made mistakes and have learned from them.
Sorry, I know this is terribly off topic.........!
In Reply to: Re: sex question posted by Voice of more experience on May 23, 2001 at 20:40:20:
Hi, Voice.
Why do you assume that "serious" is male?
Walt
In Reply to: sex question posted by serious on May 23, 2001 at 02:34:33:
Hi, Serious.
Listen to "reader" (Thanks, reader!)
There are both (mean & compassionate) in these responses. Your first note (clarified later) seemes to equate sex with a partner as a substitute for masturbation. This may be what stimulated some of the negative responses.
Although sex with a committed partner is the best, it is better to become expert with masturbation UNTIL that special person is found. It is a shame to get married for lust and find out later what you have done to your life.
Unfortunately that happens much too often.
Hope this helps.
Walt
In Reply to: Re: sex question posted by Walt Stoll on May 25, 2001 at 07:30:24:
I assume this because I have had and have known women who have had experience with this type of person, who uses arguments like this to seduce naive women. I do not believe that 'serious' is a male--could be either one.
In Reply to: you got it all wrong--i'm a girl posted by aa on May 24, 2001 at 17:33:46:
Take it from someone who was a very promiscuous teenager... its worth it to wait and not sleep around. Your need for sex more be more deep than just the physical act. You may need the feeling of being "loved" it gives you but premarital sex is not love or commitment! theres a saying that is so true..."boys give love to get sex and girls give sex to get love"
Lets see what does premarital get you... unwanted pregnancy, STD, and often emotional scars that can last a lifetime! Trust me I know! I experianced all three!
Save yourself for someone whose willing to commit his life to your for a lifetime!
Hang in there!!
In Reply to: you got it all wrong--i'm a girl posted by aa on May 24, 2001 at 17:33:46:
Take it from someone who was a very promiscuous teenager... its worth it to wait and not sleep around. Your need for sex more be more deep than just the physical act. You may need the feeling of being "loved" it gives you but premarital sex is not love or commitment! theres a saying that is so true..."boys give love to get sex and girls give sex to get love"
Lets see what does premarital get you... unwanted pregnancy, STD, and often emotional scars that can last a lifetime! Trust me I know! I experianced all three!
Save yourself for someone whose willing to commit his life to your for a lifetime!
Hang in there!!
In Reply to: Shame people have to use this forum for negative thoughts.... posted by shame on May 24, 2001 at 10:04:27:
bigotry, homophobia, hate mongers etc. etc. but woe unto those who dare do have absolutes in their lives, or even worse...Christian morals and values that they choose to live by... because if you do... watch out, the "enlightened-open minded ones" suddenly become what they claim they aren't...intolerant of anybody who doesn't go along with their personal agenda or platform. Just who do you think you are kidding anyway??? We aren't all living in trailers, drinking beer and watching Jerry Springer everyday! And duh... we aren't all hood-winked by the liberal media either!
In Reply to: Waiting is definately worth it!!! posted by Experianced on May 25, 2001 at 13:49:28:
Thank you. You said it exactly whatI meant when I wrote my earlier post to Dr. Stoll. THAT is why I think that 'voice of experience' is a male.
In Reply to: Re: you got it all wrong--i'm a girl posted by aa on May 24, 2001 at 17:38:52:
Sex is right up there with food and water?? Wait a minute.....you'll die without food and water. It isn't quite the same thing.
Waiting is very much worth it; I regret that I didn't. Having sex just to have sex can make you feel like an object, and it's not a great feeling.
In Reply to: Re: sex question (Archive in sex.) posted by Walt Stoll on May 25, 2001 at 07:38:38:
Hi, Serious
Thank you for posting and be advised you're not alone.
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