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How many of you women out there have this problem? I have never been able to orgasm during sex. Is this normal? I thought it was, but am starting to doubt myself. I can orgasm during foreplay without a problem.
Any ideas why some women do and some women dont?
Look forward to hearing from all of you......
In Reply to: A survey for the women on this board....... posted by Sera on March 15, 2002 at 05:49:27:
You need to talk to your lover, I mean REALLY TALK. Tell him/her where, when, how and how much. What you have is a communication problem, and I'm not kidding. Clumsy, insensitve lovers are no turn on. Besides, the conversation might be really fun.
In Reply to: A survey for the women on this board....... posted by Sera on March 15, 2002 at 05:49:27:
If you can orgasm during foreplay then you can orgasm during intercourse, I would think. Personally, I find certain positions are more gratifying than others. Your partner should care enough to understand this, too.How much time do you and your partner take?
A lot of guys just rush through sex without giving a lot of thought to what women want. I'm willing to bet the majority of guys would be happy only spending 15 minutes on sex. If you ask me, guys need sex training more than women.
In Reply to: Men! posted by Connie Linguist on March 15, 2002 at 14:42:08:
So quick to blame men.
You know, men are not born knowing how to satisfy women. Instead of aiming and firing
that Gun Of Inadequecy so fast, you may want to look at the overall picture first.
Does the woman is question know how to get herself off? Has she communicated
this to her partner? We know from other posts on the board that sex it not just a
mechanical act. Is there some kind of bond? Emotional connection? Passion?
And yes, technique comes into play also. It does indeed take 2 to tango, so before
all the bitter emotional blaming, check your attitude at the door, and look at what
"Women" contribute to the problem.
Sex By Candlelight,
Gregory
In Reply to: Cute Name. posted by Gregory on March 15, 2002 at 15:04:29:
And most men just don't care to want to know what women want. If someone cares, then everything else falls into place (no pun intended).
It seems like men in India are the ideal. They actually put emphasis, valuewise, on pleasing women. It's important to them. So, let me please repeat myself. A lot of men will write off the fact that they can't read our minds, instead of learning, themselves, how to please women. Excuses, excuses, I say, and that's what they are-excuses. If men would put as much time into learning about sex as they do other things like football or fishing, a lot of women would be a lot happier. You may not like this, but I guarantee you, a lot of women will agree with me.
But don't worry. We're willing to be patient. After all, like you said, it does take two to tanglo...well, it's certainly more meaningful, though not necessary in order to have an orgasm. And I believe she did say she was able to orgasm, just not with her partner during the actual sex act.
Just because a woman tells her man what she wants doesn't mean he'll care enough to take it seriously. Though, in that case, I'd recommend saying 'later, dude'.
In Reply to: Cute Name. posted by Gregory on March 15, 2002 at 15:04:29:
nmi
In Reply to: A survey for the women on this board....... posted by Sera on March 15, 2002 at 05:49:27:
How long does your man take very long?
Someone mentioned a bond I believe this is vital for you to orgasm during sex, I had same problem with first Husband, he was hopless, I had to satisfy myself.
My New Husband is Different, could'nt believe the first time I Orgasmed at age 30 through sex.
Kissing does make a difference, he says thats what turns him on most, Make your man stop just before he comes, his orgasm will be better too if he does this
GOOOOOD Luck
In Reply to: Thanks. posted by Connie L. on March 15, 2002 at 15:32:15:
I'm gonna go out on a limb here....you don't much like men do you. If you say what you want, most men will try to accomidate. Say what you want if they won't do it then find someone who will!! If they are like me at all they are just happy to be there!!
In Reply to: A survey for the women on this board....... posted by Sera on March 15, 2002 at 05:49:27:
I orgasm all the time, but not from penetration. I need supplemental stimulation (nipple, clitoris, whatever). This is typical of women.
I'm 35 and actually did orgasm ONCE internally when I was 21. It was with someone I was with only once and did not have a relationship with (very long time ago, no morality lectures). Obviously, there was no emotional bonding, love, closeness, etc. -- so it seems those things aren't necessary for an internal orgasm. I sure didn't expect it when it hit and, by the way, I was on top.
I think it's key to be on top and you have to find the right movement. Thrusting is useless in achieving orgasm for women; it's a different kind of motion that does it.
My husband and I have tried very hard to orgasm me internally and haven't been able to yet. I get very close to it and only when I'm on top, but, I always need additional stimulation to get there. We are crazy about each other, and he never gives up. I give up before he does. So, it's certainly not his fault as a man. He wants very badly for us to find a way to do this.
In Reply to: Re: A survey for the women on this board....... posted by grumpy on March 15, 2002 at 12:48:47:
Wonderful discussion!
Although it usually is a man, who thinks that sexual loving is an in-born trait, that is the cause of a lack of orgasm in the woman, the second most common cause is a woman who subconsciously (or even consciously) fears the total loss of control necessary for orgiastic release.
The main goal of a REAL man during sex must be his partner's pleasure. Men are made so the woman does not need to have this same goal although it is nice to have. The woman's goal needs to be total abandon with a loving and considerate lover she can TOTALLY trust.
This seems to be one of the powers of a lesbian relationship!
Once that trust is truly there, it is time to study the Tantra for an incredible sex life for you both.
Remember, for example, one cannot force themselves to go to sleep! At some point, they have to let go. At some point, the woman has to let go to achieve orgasm. It is the privilege of the REAL man to bring her to that point.
Hope this helps.
Namaste`
Walt
In Reply to: Re: A survey for the women on this board....... posted by Understandably Anonymous on March 16, 2002 at 04:42:31:
Hi UA et al,
Here's something that might be of interest. Then again what wrong with a little extra stimulation? Idle hands are the devil's workshop.
Be well,
S
In Reply to: Re: Excuse my outie but.... posted by Sounder on March 16, 2002 at 13:07:13:
Jeeze don't know why that didn't take.
http://my.webmd.com/content/article/1689.50048
Sounder
In Reply to: Cute Name. posted by Gregory on March 15, 2002 at 15:04:29:
I have had the best sex of my life with a man (who also says
it is the best sex of his life)but he thinks it is just
physical chemistry, that there are no emotions involved.
I think that is impossible. It always gets better, every time. However, he does not want to see me anymore, even thought he loves the sex)because he says I want more from
him. We are both married and get together because I do not
have sex with my husband and he occasionally has sex with his wife. Neither one of us wants to break up our families.
This was very theraputic for me.
What do you think?
Does he have another woman?
Is he afraid to feel something for me?
He is a very controlled and controlling person and is not
affectionate. But MAN o Man when we hit the sheets he is a different person.
I hate to give up on this because the sex is SOOO good.
For HIM too, he had a multiple orgasm the last time we were
together. I did't even think men could do that.
I need advice badly,please pardon the sexual and personal
content of this message. I hope I don't offend anyone.
In Reply to: Re: A survey for the women on this board.......(Archive in sex.) posted by Walt Stoll on March 16, 2002 at 09:34:32:
What a wonderful position (;-)to take about making love and a fine example, I might add, Walt.
In Reply to: Re: Thanks. posted by Jon on March 15, 2002 at 21:33:08:
You sound like a real winner. I pity any woman who gets even remotely involved wiht you.
In Reply to: Re: A survey for the women on this board.......(Archive in sex.) posted by Walt Stoll on March 16, 2002 at 09:34:32:
I totally agree with you, Walt. Trust is the primary factor for total abandonment. I came to know this when I was younger, (in my twenties), after several years of being non-orgasmic during intercourse. And to the original poster, position and/or getting your own hands involved at the same time can help a lot. Gook luck! And try to relax. The more you force it, the less chance there is of having a happy outcome. (Whoops, no pun intended).
In Reply to: Re: He denys there is a bond? posted by RK on March 16, 2002 at 13:14:40:
Appologies to Sera & Connie. I know this thread is for "women only."
RK, in order to explain this, we have to take a little digression into the
spiritual realm. Not the spiritual realm of "spirits" but the spiritual realm
of the structure of human beings. The "operations" part of how we are put together.
Humans are more complex than physical appearance would suggest. In addition to
the physical body, there is an etheric, emotional, a lower and higher mental and spiritual
body. These extend out several feet from each person. If you could see yourself, you'd
look like a large walking egg-shaped christmas tree. In each of these bodies,
the results of your thoughts are transmitted, received and stored. Also certain thoughts are "given more power"
than others, and
"seek like thoughts" when
given the opportunity. Yet the thoughts may be -hmmm How shall I put this...
In conflict with your mindset. You see yourself a certain way. You see the world a
certain way withing this mindset & world view, certain thoughts and circumstances are
simply not possible. At the same time, thoughts which contradict this mindset
& worldview IS possible, but (understandably) are under tremendous pressure.
I believe what your partner is experiencing with you, is self-generated "forbidden fruit."
His worldview & mindset may not allow for the possibility of "emotional connection",
yet he is experincing it anyway. It is "shorting through" the channel that is open,
the sexual channel. The thing about this is congruent energies become stronger,
the closer they are to similar energies. So sex, being the closest you can get (physically)
to another person are bring the greatest release. The two of you probably have many strong
Mars connections to be having those slamming orgasms together, and that may be what's
really bothering him.
AGIMW,
Gregory
In Reply to: Are YOU a woman? nmi posted by Hmmmmm on March 15, 2002 at 17:18:20:
In Reply to: Re: Thanks. posted by Slam,Bam on March 16, 2002 at 15:56:19:
I'm not sure what I said to make you think that of me!! All I said was it sounds like the person who started this link does not care for men too much. (BY her stereotyping men so generally and negatively makes me think she's bitter) If your man doesn't satisfy you talk it our or find someone else. BTW my wife thanks you for your concern!! LOL.
Have a nice day!
In Reply to: Re: A survey for the women on this board....... posted by Understandably Anonymous on March 16, 2002 at 04:42:31:
Hi, Understandably.
Your situation is "the exception that proves the rule".
Woman on top is always easier. Have you both studied the Tantra?
Walt
In Reply to: Re: A survey for the women on this board....... posted by Walt Stoll on March 17, 2002 at 08:36:12:
nmi
In Reply to: Never heard of Tantra...what is it? (nmi) posted by U. Anonymous on March 17, 2002 at 11:31:08:
nmi
In Reply to: Re: Thanks. posted by Jon on March 16, 2002 at 22:13:52:
where George was trying to learn Jerry's special technique because he was unable to satisfy his girlfriend. He never did learn to do it correctly!....
In Reply to: Re: Thanks. posted by Jon on March 16, 2002 at 22:13:52:
Jon,
I think Slam Bam is right about you. You sound like a real winner.
Where exactly in my post do you think I am bitter or dont care for men? I think you are imagining things. If you read my post and paid any attention to what I said, no-where in there did I mention the man in this situation, did I? I asked if this was a normal female reaction. Anyway, it is obvious you didnt read it properly because what are you doing answering it anyway, unless you are a woman?
So before you go making judgements before reading the facts, try a little discernment first and try reading the whole post.
In Reply to: Re: To Jon, the Winner posted by Sera on March 17, 2002 at 21:33:03:
Jon is talking about CONNIE being the man-hater. Not you, Sera.
Don't worry Jon, at least one person is understaning you here.
A woman,
PH
In Reply to: To everyone re: Jon posted by PH on March 17, 2002 at 23:05:19:
If this is the case, and I see that it may be, then I take back what I said. Sorry, Jon.
In Reply to: Re: To everyone re: Jon posted by Slam, Bam on March 17, 2002 at 23:44:22:
Apologies, Jon. But when you said original poster, well, I am the original poster.
In Reply to: Re: To everyone re: Jon posted by Sera on March 18, 2002 at 00:14:36:
Sorry for the confusion, I was, like PH said talking about Connie Linguist.
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