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My husband is trying to quit smoking. It is imperative for his health that he do so. He has been experiencing severe depression which is making him want to start back. Is there something he can do to alleviate the depression? He has not smoked for almost a month now and it's getting worse.
In Reply to: Cessation of smoking and depression posted by Barb on May 13, 2003 at 21:24:51:
Hi there. There is an antidepressant which has been used to assist patients with stopping smoking. Go to a licensed psychiatrist, not your family MD, because the psychiatrist can best prescribe the right med or combination of meds at the appropriate dosage for your husband. And that would be worth the extra expense.
While quitting smoking is very, very hard, it can be done. Hang in there! I quit in '85 and it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I used nicotine gum for a week and always had a glass of water with a straw nearby. Even now I still dream of smoking and I know if I ever start back I would be just as addicted and probably would not be able to stop again!
Good luck to you!
Anita
In Reply to: Re: Cessation of smoking and depression posted by Anita on May 13, 2003 at 21:52:53:
I became severely depressed after quitting smoking cold turkey. The only thing that helped me was time. It took me two years to get over my lost cigarettes. It's amazing how they grab you like that, it is a true love affair.
I was on the antidepressant Paxil and it did not help the depression. Probably because the depression came from the feeling as if I'd lost my best friend. I felt like if I couldn't smoke, then what was there to life. Man, it was bad.
The good news is, it's been 4 years since I laid the cigs down and I have no desire whatsoever to smoke again. You just have to hang in there. Time is what it took for me.
In Reply to: Re: Cessation of smoking and depression posted by Carol on May 13, 2003 at 22:41:36:
hi maybe this will help ease it for him if hes doing this cold turkey. my mom is now 51 and she smoked from the time she was 14 and for as long as i could remember since ive been live(23) shed smoke 2 packs a day like a chimney. i was on her for so long to quit and this year she finally did. she used a pill called commit and the nicorette gum and since january she has been smoke free. if she can quit any1 can, my aunt saw that she quit and also has quit completelyfor the last 2 months using the same things my mom did
In Reply to: Re: Cessation of smoking and depression posted by john on May 14, 2003 at 01:00:54:
Hi John,
What is the pill you are talking about - "commit"? Do you know what it is made of?
I am 53, gave up smoking for 10 years in my thirties. Going through divorce I very stupidly started again - that was 15 years ago, and now I can't stop. Don't know what to do. My mum died of lung cancer 5 months ago. She smoked heavily since 14. She died at 83. Not bad, but I wonder how long she would have lived had she not smoked. Can't seem to get this through my stupid head - but then I'm an addict. Need help.
In Reply to: Re: Cessation of smoking and depression posted by smoker on May 14, 2003 at 04:13:51:
I found Commit by simply typing in "commit". Here is what I found:
How does Commit work?
Commit Lozenges contain nicotine, so as you use it, nicotine is released and absorbed through your mouth tissues. This helps to reduce your nicotine cravings and helps relieve some of the nasty withdrawal symptoms you may be experiencing, like irritability or nervousness. Commit Lozenges deliver a high, safe amount of medicine. And because Commit doesn’t contain the harmful tar or carbon monoxide found in cigarette smoke, using a nicotine lozenge doesn’t expose you to the same health risks as smoking. More importantly, Commit works to wean you off nicotine. As you go through our 12-week program, you use fewer and fewer lozenges until eventually, you don’t need any at all.
If this works, I'd like to know. Lost a sister with lung cancer at 40 and I am back to smoking myself. Horrible addiction! Good Luck!
In Reply to: Cessation of smoking and depression posted by Barb on May 13, 2003 at 21:24:51:
Hi, Barb.
His symptoms should be getting better (after 2 weeks) and not worse. The chances are that hs is feeling sorry for himself and putting himself into a depression.
If all the pill suggestions others have suggested do not help, he needs to be confronted with this.
Of course any psychiatrist who would prescribe these to him has an opligation to confront him before prescribing them but you know how often THAT happens.
Walt
In Reply to: Re: Cessation of smoking and depression posted by NJ on May 14, 2003 at 09:55:25:
believe me it works, i told you tha story about my mom. you could take a half hour ride with her in the car and shed light up 3 cigarettes. she used the commit and nicorette in tandem tho. i was surprised when she did it but most of all proud!
In Reply to: Cessation of smoking and depression posted by Barb on May 13, 2003 at 21:24:51:
My husband quit smoking after almost 20 years. It was very hard for him. He went on an anti-depressant to help him get started so he wouldn't be so irritable. One thing he found out about himself when he quit, he became more vocal about the things that were bothering him. He was using cigerettes to help stuff his feelings. My husband is so glad he quit and its been 2 years from him. I'm thrilled also for him.
In Reply to: Cessation of smoking and depression posted by Barb on May 13, 2003 at 21:24:51:
excercise!!! get him moving, it will help a lot. excercise alone cures mild to moderate depression in 80% of cases. he should build up to at least 30 minutes a day six days a week.
In Reply to: Re: Cessation of smoking and depression (Archive in smoking.) posted by Walt Stoll on May 14, 2003 at 11:13:23:
But, Walt, could be he has other issues that he is dealing with too and whoever he sees professionally needs to figure out what is going on instead of confronting him on possibly the wrong thing. You know people can self-medicate on sex, shopping, relationships with friends and family as easily as they can with otc, illicit or prescription drugs--so I would imagine there is a fair number of people who self-medicate with cigarettes. If that is the case here, he would probably start feeling quite bad several weeks after cessation, because he no longer has the cigarettes to help him feel better about the unaddressed issues and not necessarily because he is feeling sorry for himself.
Just a thought....Anita
In Reply to: Re: Cessation of smoking and depression (Archive in smoking.) posted by Anita on May 14, 2003 at 19:16:57:
Anita,
I think you may have hit the nail on the head as far as my husband is concerned. I definitely think that he used cigarettes to self-medicate. I am sure that there are other issues involved. He has never been to express himself and stuffs everything. Perhaps now that he doesn't have his crutch, he is having to deal with these issues. The hard thing is that he is shutting me out and completely ignoring my needs and feelings. I am having a difficult time with that. So goes the vicious cycle. He would never agree to a psychiatrist or counselor so that's out. I am sure that his brain chemistry is probably screwed up, but I am very reluctant to suggest anti-depressants. He would never accept that. His mother and father both became dependent on alcohol in their 50's and both died in their early 60's. In looking back, I believe that they were both depressed. He doesn't use alcohol fortunately. Thanks for your input.
In Reply to: Re: Cessation of smoking and depression (Archive in smoking.) posted by Barb on May 14, 2003 at 20:43:49:
I once had a boyfriend who was much like your husband. My man was tall, dark, handsome. He was conflicted, sullen and bullheaded at times. Most of the times he was wonderful, loving and caring--until those hard times came. Don't get me wrong. He was not mentally or emotionally disturbed--just had a difficult time coping with certain things and would turn inward. One night after a big fight with his daughter, he stormed out. And I--the chatty, talk-about-it person I am--just wanted to talk about it and get everything out in the open. A good friend of his suggested that I just go to bed, then when he came home I should not say anything and just make love to him. I figured it wouldn't hurt and tried it. After a long, passionate time he just whispered "thank you" and we both went to sleep never mentioning it again.
Maybe something like that would work in your case. Your talking will probably just push him away and make him defensive--but when defensive he will never feel comfortable to talk about it. Run a computer search on suggestions for successful smoking cessation and leave print-outs where he can see them. Maybe even buy some Nicorette Gum or Committ as was suggested. Then just quietly be the good wife and take care of yourself, your family and your home. Don't be mad at him for hurting so bad and for not knowing how to talk about the things that are bothering him. It is really difficult for anyone who grew up in an alcoholic home to be able to communicate their inner selves to others and it is even worse to be an orphan with a lot of baggage that can never be completely resolved. You hang in there, continue to enjoy life and refuse to be mad at him. In other words, don't talk about it, just make love to him and let him choose when he is ready to talk.
Soft hugs to you...Anita
In Reply to: Re: Cessation of smoking and depression (Archive in smoking.) posted by Anita on May 14, 2003 at 19:16:57:
Of course, Anita.
This goes without saying. It would take a skilled and caring holistic practitioner to sort this out for the individual.
Walt
In Reply to: Re: Cessation of smoking and depression (Archive in smoking.) posted by Anita on May 14, 2003 at 22:52:20:
Barb,
I wish that he would allow me to make love to him and help him, but he won't have anything to do with me. He is essentially pushing me away. He's the type of person who doesn't "need" people even when he is not dealing with something like this and this has only made it worse. He went through a bad bout with a kidney stone several weeks ago and was given morphine for 4 days and then general anesthesia for a lithotripsy. I'm wondering if this depression is a result of some of that also. Thanks for taking time to respond.
In Reply to: Re: Cessation of smoking and depression (Archive in smoking.) posted by Barb on May 15, 2003 at 21:24:29:
But there are many ways to "make love" with a person. Many times, backing off and continuing your life is the best way to "make love." You have very very limited, if any, control over him. But when you make demands, complain and try to help, you will keep him on the defensive and he will unconciously as well as consciously resist you. But if you relax and go about your own work in your home and life, you will give him the space to be himself. I am not saying to leave or dishonor your marriage, nor am I saying that you should allow him to do that either. In my relationship that I wrote about earlier, my friend was going through very difficult times with his daughter that soured many aspects of his life. When I wanted to plan a vacation for me, my kids, him and those of his kids who wanted to go--his very first response was "it's a bad idea...I'm not going." My response was that I had no problem with that, but if he changed his mind just let me know so I could include him in the reservations. He stomped around for a while and when he overheard me making the reservations, he decided to go too. If I had badgered him to try to make him go, he would have resisted and I would have gone alone...with that attitude I would have had a miserable time because I would have been worried about him. But he saw in my actions that I was going to have a good time whether he went or not and he wanted to have a good time too. I think you would see similar with your hubby if you tried. Just back off a bit, relax and decide to enjoy your the rest of your life and do things. Perhaps he will begin to want to do them with you. If he doesn't, you certainly haven't lost anything! Sometimes this is the only way you can "make love" to the man you love! Good luck to you...Anita
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