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Having trouble to relax - little death.

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Having trouble to relax

Posted by Michelle [12847.3337] on December 11, 2008 at 21:05:51:

Hi Jan, I am trying the SR in your book, but having trouble to relax still. Everytime I am trying to relax and my body feels relaxed I just cannot stay there. Due to the chest pressure/tightness I am feeling when I get to that relaxation point something just happens like I can't get enough air into my lungs or I am going to stop breathing, thats when I get jittery and anxious and jolt up to take another breath, as I guess I feel if I don't I would stop breathing - this is so weird and driving me crazy because I feel if I could relax I wouldn't be having half my problems.It just feels like my body will stop breathing and I have to consciously make myself breathe. The same thing happens when I try to go to sleep, and then when I do get to sleep something wakes me up after about 1 1/2 - 2 hours, and then most times get back to sleep for about the same time then wake up again, and so on through the night. On a bad night I may only get 2 hours if I'm lucky. Any tips as to get over this please,,,,,,, Michelle.

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Re: Having trouble to relax

Posted by Ron [5412.2287] on December 11, 2008 at 23:50:09:

In Reply to: Having trouble to relax posted by Michelle [12847.3337] on December 11, 2008 at 21:05:51:

Hi Michelle,

Just curious...
-do you slep better on one side than the other?
-do you have acid reflux?
-did you ever injure your diaphragm by lifting heavy weights or doing too many ab-crunches?

-were you ever told that you had a hiatal hernia?

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Re: Having trouble to relax

Posted by lovebird [6.3291] on December 12, 2008 at 00:48:00:

In Reply to: Having trouble to relax posted by Michelle [12847.3337] on December 11, 2008 at 21:05:51:

Hi there:
It has taken me some time to know how to relax and sleep really well too.
All of this is applying what we learn here and it takes time.
I play soft music in my home and that is very soothing.
I love and need fresh outdoor air and movement every day and that is relaxing.
Massage, gentle stretches work
Then I am reading a book Jan has read about the brain and what it needs.
This doctor says to "get a tea rack and spice rack" and since I have been taken warm teas with lemon that warmth makes me sleep very well. He states there are nutrients for the brain.
Tonight the heavy rain finally stopped here and I am up for some reason.
I guess to help you.
One older neighbor has always said to me "are you sure you are warm enough at night? She is a trip. She is 95.In perfect health.
We also have been eating warm oatmeal with cinammon (another idea from the brain man) Dr. Eric Braverman an d that is also so good for solid sleep.
I need ventelation and soft music at night too.
I also got this neat eye cover things that are thick and a dark room and bam right to sleep.
I got them at Rite Aide.
I find when I let go of any negatives, forgive, watch my mouth and not speak about others I stay strong and feel good.
We have a lot of heatable bean bags with herbs that smell fabulous for the neck, back, forehead and they are nice for sleep as is a hot shower...no TV news late.
Tips that work for me
Hey I talked myself into some warm oatmeal with organic raisins...Good night

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Re: Having trouble to relax

Posted by Michele [4954.6457] on December 12, 2008 at 02:06:59:

In Reply to: Having trouble to relax posted by Michelle [12847.3337] on December 11, 2008 at 21:05:51:

This is beyond trying to relax, this to me, is outright anxiety due to
something you are not dealing with. Have you tried talking to a
therapist? It did me a world of good and I never really have those
symptoms now (and I did a LOT before)

Hope you are feeling good and hope Jan can shed light on her
experience with SR if she had these symptoms.

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Re: Having trouble to relax

Posted by Michelle [12847.3337] on December 12, 2008 at 02:21:54:

In Reply to: Re: Having trouble to relax posted by Michele [4954.6457] on December 12, 2008 at 02:06:59:

Thanks all for you comments.
I have been seeing a psychologist, but I have had numerous sessions and not really helping much. Hypnosis did not really work either.
I was stressed out and anxious about a family issue at the time when I got sick, and now I feel I am just anxious because I feel so bad and think I will not get better. I guess I am in a hole trying to climb out without much success. I get anxious about going to sleep and then when I wake up I get anxious about how I am going to feel that day.
I am seeing a naturopath next week to see what he thinks. Michelle.

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Re: Having trouble to relax

Posted by Michelle [12847.3337] on December 12, 2008 at 02:23:57:

In Reply to: Re: Having trouble to relax posted by Ron [5412.2287] on December 11, 2008 at 23:50:09:

I probably do sleep better on one side, but no to the rest. Any other ideas how to help ??


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Re: Having trouble to relax -- "Little Death"? Archive in SR.

Posted by Walt Stoll [93.4968] on December 12, 2008 at 08:41:54:

In Reply to: Having trouble to relax posted by Michelle [12847.3337] on December 11, 2008 at 21:05:51:

Michele,

People who have this kind of trouble with BOTH SR and going to sleep, sometimes are having trouble with the "little death" of letting go. You might "google" it or specifically discuss it with your counselor.

Let us know what you learn.

Walt

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Re: Having trouble to relax

Posted by Michele [4954.6457] on December 12, 2008 at 09:55:19:

In Reply to: Re: Having trouble to relax posted by Michelle [12847.3337] on December 12, 2008 at 02:21:54:

It to me, sounds CLEARLY like you are trying to get over the
symptoms which I totally understand but - try to take a step back
and (like in yoga) "accept the suffering" - that is half the battle.
Then maybe to to a new therapist - I had to try four before I found
one that I just clicked with well and felt good with when I left his
office... it was worth the interviewing or "wasted sessions" as it feels
like, to find the right one.
The anxiety you feel is from unresolved issues, and SR will help a
little, and if you want to take an incredibly long time it will help in
the overall "learning how to control your symptoms" but it won't get
to the CORE which is dealing head on with the root cause.

I know SR and meditation is incredibly important; don't get me
wrong. However, I firmly feel that when there is a true issue, you
can't be passive and meditate your way through it but be a problem
solver in your own life and deal with it - and that WILL cause
upheaval as you are experiencing.

See to me, what you have subconciously done, is traded the root
issue and pushed it down so the focus is on symptoms that are
topical like the 'anxiety symptoms" and then, you are now focused
on the TOPICAL and avoiding the root - the circle and cycle is - and
why you can't resolve, is your body is TRYING to work on the root
cause.

I know seeing a psychologist and the hypnotist and all are steps in
the right direction but you need to change YOUR focus so that you
have the right work being addressed - or you will just be putting a
band aid on an operation, and never heal correctly.

Trust me, a few days or a month with no "symptoms" is not healing
unless you can put all of this behind you 100%

I feel for you and have been there. The next thing that happens, is
you will fear LIFE and you will find every ailment or ache to be
something horrible and focus on THAT and not living.




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Re: Having trouble to relax

Posted by craig [8177.4304] on December 12, 2008 at 11:33:56:

In Reply to: Re: Having trouble to relax posted by Michelle [12847.3337] on December 12, 2008 at 02:23:57:

Have you ever tried Biaural Beat type relaxation tape? Perhaps listening to it would block your response that no seems to jolt you from the meditative state ..... just a thought. Also, tred Melatonin before.
Don't laugh but a sufficient dose of DHA from fish oil v time might enable you to "lose" the therapist !

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Re: Having trouble to relax -- "Little Death"? Archive in SR.

Posted by Michelle [12847.3337] on December 12, 2008 at 19:56:17:

In Reply to: Re: Having trouble to relax -- "Little Death"? Archive in SR. posted by Walt Stoll [93.4968] on December 12, 2008 at 08:41:54:

Walt, I have googled this but nothing relevant has come up - can you "please" explain what you mean by this. So sorry for my lack of comprehending this and much appreciated. Michelle

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Re: Having trouble to relax

Posted by wow [1634.5961] on December 12, 2008 at 19:59:38:

In Reply to: Re: Having trouble to relax posted by lovebird [6.3291] on December 12, 2008 at 00:48:00:

These are about the same things that work for me too lovebird :). Very true !!!

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Re: Having trouble to relax

Posted by Michelle [12847.3337] on December 12, 2008 at 20:37:33:

In Reply to: Re: Having trouble to relax posted by Michele [4954.6457] on December 12, 2008 at 09:55:19:

Hi Michele,
I have gone back to past and childhood issues with my counsellor to get to the root of the problem.
When I was about 8 years old I was in a boarding school which I didn't like very much, and I remember waking up in the middle of the night screaming and running down the stairs and I couldn't breathe - I really cannot remember whether I had a nightmare or bad dream or what really caused this - but I do remember sitting on the nun's knee in front of an open window trying to breathe or catch my breath.
Another was when I was 10 and playing hide and seek with friends, and they someone suggested I hide in a suitcase which we found under the bed, so I did, and one of my friends locked the suitcase, and I remember when they found me they couldn't get the suitcase open, so I think I was quite panicked and scared. Both times it was dark is the common link here.
Then when I was 24 I got a really bad sore throat and cough - around christmas/new year and went to the doctor (but my doc was on holidays) so I was just told to get some cough medicine etc. but it didn't go away, so I went back to the doctor (mine was back then) and he told me that I had pneumonia. I had similar symptoms that I have now - weakness, insomnia, chest pains and I guess fear that I was going to die from it - it went of for a few weeks then I got better.
Then when I was 39 I got this really bad cough again and after not sleeping for 4 nights I went to the doctor and she said that I had bronchitis, gave me antibiotics (which didn't work as I had a viral infection) and a cough medicine called Brondecon (which apparantly opens the airways up). When she told me this, I immediately thought of the pneumonia that I had 15 years prior, and ended up fainting as I was leaving the docs surgery. As I wasn't getting any better, although the cough subsided, the insomnia, the chest pain/pressure/tighness continued, nausea and bloating, and by then I was getting anxious as to what was wrong with me, a chest xray showed a viral infection, then some weeks later as my symptoms continued I had another chest xray which showed clear. I had numerous blood tests but nothing showed. The insomnia weakness chest tightness anxiety continued. I also felt this burning pain in my chest, so I was sent for a catscan or MRI (cannot remember which one) of my lungs and referred to a lung specialist. Also by this time I was taking a low dosage antidepressant. In the mean time some more blood tests were done, and what came back was the EBV virus was active. He ended up doing a broncheoscopy to check my lungs and it all came up clear.
The insomnia weakness chest tightness and anxiety continued. Once we knew EBV was active, my husband actually stumbled on Dr. Stoll's website (back in 1997) and he suggested vitamin C intravenously. I found a doctor that did this over here in Australia and after 6 weekly treatments, and also a course of B12 intramuscular injections I get better. It took 5 - 6 months for me to feel good again and return to work.
My doctor at the moment is giving me vitamin c intreavenously weekly - have only had 3 treatments - to build my immune system and have had a course of B12 injections already.
My doctor also seems to think it could be related to the things that happened to me as a child with the breathing and darkness issue as to why I have the insomnia and anxiety. But my counsellor does not seem to think so.
Strangely enough - these symptoms have come when I have had sore throats and coughs/chest infections .
At this stage I just feel that I will never get better although everyone keeps assuring me that I will. I guess after feeling like this for 3 months now I have got it in the back of my mind that there is some other underlying cause that is giving me these symptoms and that does really scare me - and I do have to say that is just how I felt in 1997 when I kept going back to the doctors saying there is something wrong with me.
I am seeing a naturopath next week as well (as I do remember back in 1997 I was taking some additional vitamins magnesium flaxseed oil to the Vit C IV, but that doctor does not have it on record anymore)
It does help talking to someone who has been in this similar situation feeling like this and I thank you for your input.
If you have anymore information for me after reading this email I would really appreciated hearing from you again.
Also do you know what Dr.Walt means by "little death" ??
Once again thank you so much and hope to hear from you. Michelle.

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Re: Having trouble to relax

Posted by Ron [5412.2287] on December 12, 2008 at 23:55:49:

In Reply to: Re: Having trouble to relax posted by Michelle [12847.3337] on December 12, 2008 at 20:37:33:

Hi Michelle,

Are you sure that your therapist is not causing more anxiety than he is fixing?

I wonder if shortness of breath or a bit of stomach acid was the reason that you ran down the hall when you were a child..

What do you do for the hour before going to bed?
If it includes watching the scary news or some TV program with too much excitement, try avoiding such stumulus for an hour or two before bed..
Try a warm bath and a glass of wine instead.
You mentioned Magnesium and Omega 3.. 10 years ago... Have you tried a Magnesium and Flaxseed supplements lately to help calm your nerves?
That alone may do the trick.. It may even help you to
have dreams again. (Dreams are how you sort out the day's troubles.)

If darkness is a problem, have you tried a small nightlight?
If being able to breathe is setting you up for panic atacks, try running a fan in the room to move the air around a bit... This works both when it is cool and dry or hot, humid and sticky.

Since you had an illness with a lot of coughing, you may well have damaged your diaphragm where it attaches to the esophagus.. That could explain the bloated feeling, possible swallowing difficulties, a burning pain in the chest near the tip of the breastbone, acid burning your esophagus.. acid fumes irritating your lungs, bad breath, sore throats, a white coated tongue, damage to tooth enamel at the gumline...
You may even have a Stomach Ulcer.
Did your blood tests include one for Helicobacter Pylori?

Just curious.. were you in a car accident where whiplash was involved prior to your symptoms returning?

If the room is too quiet, maybe an old-fashioned wind-up clock would help...
Do you have any ringing or buzzing sounds in your ears that will not go away? If so, a radio or a soothing sound generator will help a lot... (The sound of waves on the beach or a steady rain will do wonders for relaxation.)

Do you think your thyroid might be overactive?
Are you avoiding table salt or iodine?
Are you a vegetarian, or does red meat form part of your diet?



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Re: Having trouble to relax -- "Little Death"? Archive in SR.

Posted by Walt Stoll [93.4968] on December 13, 2008 at 09:40:53:

In Reply to: Re: Having trouble to relax -- "Little Death"? Archive in SR. posted by Michelle [12847.3337] on December 12, 2008 at 19:56:17:

Thanks, Michele.

I am surprised to hear that is being hard to find. Perhaps, as is our wont, we "professionals" have come up with another name for it--mainly to keep it confusing for the masses.

Every time any of us goes to sleep we are "giving in to" the oblivion of sleep which very easily can feed anyone's subconscious fear of death. That, in turn, produces the very symptoms you are describing. When they occur both when going to sleep AND with the practice of SR, the odds are MUCH higher that this is a significant factor. Remember that one has to "let go" when practicing SR.

Hope this helps.

Walt

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Re: Having trouble to relax -- "Little Death"? Archive in SR.

Posted by Michelle [12847.3337] on December 13, 2008 at 19:29:24:

In Reply to: Re: Having trouble to relax -- "Little Death"? Archive in SR. posted by Walt Stoll [93.4968] on December 13, 2008 at 09:40:53:

Hello Walt, Thanks for your reply. You are totally right with you have said. Because what happens when I get that feeling (when relaxing or trying to get to sleep)of not being able to breathe - oh my god I better make myself breathe otherwise I'm going to die - that when it makes me jumpy and jittery and my chest get even tighter and I guess I don't get back to sleep because I have to say on guard in case it happens again.
Jan said the same thing, just have to let go, but it is easier said then done. How do you just let go with that in your conscious and subconscious mind ???
Any further feedback would be appreciated.
Thanks so much again. Michelle.

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Re: Having trouble to relax -- "Little Death"? Archive in SR.

Posted by Jan DeCourtney, CMT (Happygal) [716.5938] on December 13, 2008 at 23:32:15:

In Reply to: Re: Having trouble to relax -- "Little Death"? Archive in SR. posted by Michelle [12847.3337] on December 13, 2008 at 19:29:24:

Hi Michelle,

Here are a few suggestions to help you relax.

Try exercising before your SR sessions. That way, when you sit down to relax, you will be a little tired already and that can sometimes help.

Try getting a series of massages and see if that helps relax you.

Try different kinds of SR and see which ones you relax more with.

Get some biofeedback equipment like a GSR and use that to help teach you what relaxation feels like.

Remember, relaxing is very safe.

Best wishes,
Jan


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Re: Having trouble to relax

Posted by Jan DeCourtney, CMT (Happygal) [716.5938] on December 13, 2008 at 23:39:36:

In Reply to: Having trouble to relax posted by Michelle [12847.3337] on December 11, 2008 at 21:05:51:

Hi Michelle,

Keep practicing. It's called a skill for a very good reason.... it takes practice.

Best wishes,
Jan

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Re: Having trouble to relax -- "Little Death"? Archive in SR.

Posted by Walt Stoll [93.4968] on December 14, 2008 at 08:56:51:

In Reply to: Re: Having trouble to relax -- "Little Death"? Archive in SR. posted by Michelle [12847.3337] on December 13, 2008 at 19:29:24:

Thanks, Michele.

Listen to Jan. Also, self hypnosis training could help.

Now you can wonder why no one else has suggested this connection. :o)

Let us know how you do.

Walt

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Re: Having trouble to relax -- "Little Death"? Archive in SR.

Posted by Michelle [12847.3337] on December 14, 2008 at 19:36:02:

In Reply to: Re: Having trouble to relax -- "Little Death"? Archive in SR. posted by Walt Stoll [93.4968] on December 14, 2008 at 08:56:51:

Dear Walt and Jan, I would just like to say you are both wonderful and a big thank you for replying to my messages. I have tried a different SR and that went a little bit better today. However because I am in a constant state of tension (the main reason for this is because this has gone on for 3 months now and I so desperately want to feel "normal" again)I am having trouble to relax but I am working on it. So is it possible that the dry mouth and chest pain/feel of not getting enough air into my lungs, and general weakness/aches in my whole body are all symptoms of stress/tension/anxiety ??? Dry mouth and chest pain/pressure and insomnia I have had for 3 months, with weakness/aches increased over weeks.
In your book you mention about falling of the cliff - this must be where I am at the moment. Could this have happened because I was stressed out over a family member (edge of cliff) and then when a few days later I got my sore throat and cough back it made me fall off and get all this symptoms ??
I read in your book about cortisol levels, and I spoke to a naturopath and she said that due to the chronic stress/anxiety I am experiencing it could be due to high cortisol levels in my system. I am seeing a naturopath on Wednesday to see what else I can do to improve my condition. Is there a blood test to check if cortisol levels ? What apart from 3LS could be done to get this back to normal level and what could a naturapath do for me ??
I also read on one of the links on your website that large doses of vitamin C are also good for depression, so I am wondering would it help for stress/anxiety too ?
I am still having weekly Vitamin C IV at the moment - this week will be my 4th dose - but this is for the chronic fatigue I am feeling (due to the insomnia for the last 3 months I think.
I have not really been able to exercise because I feel really weak still, so I am just really trying to walk a little and do housework and gardening.
Michelle.

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Re: Having trouble to relax -- "Little Death"? Archive in SR.

Posted by Jan DeCourtney, CMT (Happygal) [716.5938] on December 14, 2008 at 21:04:36:

In Reply to: Re: Having trouble to relax -- "Little Death"? Archive in SR. posted by Michelle [12847.3337] on December 14, 2008 at 19:36:02:

You are welcome, Michelle.

I'd like to reply to some of your statements:

"I have tried a different SR and that went a little bit better today." -- Great!

So is it possible that the dry mouth and chest pain/feel of not getting enough air into my lungs, and general weakness/aches in my whole body are all symptoms of stress/tension/anxiety ??? -- I believe so so! Also are you drinking enough water?

Could this have happened because I was stressed out over a family member (edge of cliff) and then when a few days later I got my sore throat and cough back it made me fall off and get all this symptoms ?? -- The sore throat and cough are also part of the falling off the edge!

What apart from 3LS could be done to get this back to normal level and what could a naturapath do for me ?? -- See chapter 7 of Recapture. Based on your symptoms, I'd say make sure your nutrition is good (also start the PWFD when you can).

I also read on one of the links on your website that large doses of vitamin C are also good for depression, so I am wondering would it help for stress/anxiety too ? -- You can take Vitamin C to tolerance. You know when you're taking enough because you'll end up with diarrhea. Also see the part of chapter 7 that addresses nutritional supplements for other supplements that might help.

I have not really been able to exercise because I feel really weak still, so I am just really trying to walk a little and do housework and gardening. -- Walking is especially good. Can you do at least 10 minutes a day?

Best wishes,
Jan

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Re: Having trouble to relax

Posted by sonia [5538.1399] on December 15, 2008 at 04:14:44:

In Reply to: Having trouble to relax posted by Michelle [12847.3337] on December 11, 2008 at 21:05:51:

Hi Michele, I also have this feeling sometimes that if I let go I will stop breathing. It is almost always when trying to go to sleep. The sensation is exactly as you describe - that if I don't concentrate I will stop breathing.

It is not very pleasant but I know in my case it is definitely stress that is causing it, and when it happens I get even more anxious - so it's a vicious circle.

When it happens I just try to keep calm, take deep breaths and tell myself this is nothing and it will pass. Eventually I do drop off.

sonia

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Re: Having trouble to relax

Posted by Michelle [12847.3337] on December 15, 2008 at 16:52:43:

In Reply to: Re: Having trouble to relax posted by sonia [5538.1399] on December 15, 2008 at 04:14:44:

Thanks Sonia,
I guess its some relief that this doesn't only just happen to me. I guess I am just so anxious at the moment as I have not been feeling well for the last 3 months, with chest tightness, dry mouth, insomnia, and weakness, nausea/bloating. My doctor said it is due to stress and anxiety, but I guess I have trouble believing that is all it is because of these physical symptoms I am getting. Thanks Michelle.

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Re: Having trouble to relax -- "Little Death"? Archive in SR.

Posted by Michelle [1786.3337] on December 20, 2008 at 18:58:33:

In Reply to: Re: Having trouble to relax -- "Little Death"? Archive in SR. posted by Jan DeCourtney, CMT (Happygal) [716.5938] on December 14, 2008 at 21:04:36:

Hi Jan,
I am drinking about 2 litres of water a day.
I have been sleeping a little more/better the last couple of nights, but broken sleep.
Still so very weak which has got worse over the last couple of days - I am getting really worried about this now. I also get this burning tingling sensation in my arms and legs and chest and back and lower abdomen which also scares me. Sooo weak to exercise.
Still having trouble with the SR cannot seem to relax into it, so because it has been making me jumpy I have missed a couple of days. Probably not good but I will try to get back into it. I did a relaxation tape last night when going to bed (subliminal healing)and that sent me off to sleep. This is what is intended (I think) as it says that the subconscious mind will still take in what is said on the tape.
I am eating healthy foods but not PWFD yet.
I have been to a naturopath on 17 Dec. and he gave me some Metagenics Neurocalm and Orthoplex Multiflora to take and also told me to take Vitamin C and magnesium.
Thanks Michelle.


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Re: Having trouble to relax -- "Little Death"? Archive in SR.

Posted by Jan DeCourtney, CMT (Happygal) [716.6593] on December 20, 2008 at 22:30:41:

In Reply to: Re: Having trouble to relax -- "Little Death"? Archive in SR. posted by Michelle [1786.3337] on December 20, 2008 at 18:58:33:

Hi Michelle,

Ah, if the relaxation tape helped you fall asleep, you might try doing that for your SR session.

Do you have a mini-trampoline? Just simple bouncing also takes very little energy and can be your exercise.

Can you get a massage?

Keep moving forward with everything, just know that it can take a while.

Best wishes,
Jan

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Re: Having trouble to relax -- "Little Death"? Archive in SR.

Posted by Michelle [1786.3337] on December 20, 2008 at 22:57:25:

In Reply to: Re: Having trouble to relax -- "Little Death"? Archive in SR. posted by Jan DeCourtney, CMT (Happygal) [716.6593] on December 20, 2008 at 22:30:41:

Hi Jan, Thanks for your reply (again)
I had a hot stone massage last Thursday, which felt really relaxing. Also my husband does give me gentle massages. What type of massage is best to get ?? Can you just listen to music to relax for SR - that tends to help me during the night when I am awake or it will help me go to sleep as well ?? I will give it a try anyway. Michelle.

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