|
[ Stress Management Archive ] [ Main Archives Page ] [ Glossary/Index ] [ FAQ ] [ Recommended Books ] [ Bulletin Board ] |
Search this site! | |
After reading about the various conditions that could be
contributing to my overall ill health, and upon deeply
looking at myself and my life in the most objective
fashion I can, I have come to the conclusion that the
root of all of my health problems is most likely my
constant desire to control. That has been with me my
whole life, and believe me it is insidious. I am not an
outward control freak; none of the obvious signifiers of
controlling behavior are there. I appear very balanced to
most people I suspect. This desire to control is very
deep inside, and I truly feel that I subconsciously try to
control my body 24 hours a day. and I believe this
desire for control is at the root of the second thing that
contributes to my ill health.
Namely...HYPONCHONDRIA. I KNOW I am not the only
one on this BB that suffers from this!!!(LOL). Let's face
it, we probably all do. Anyone who searches the net and
communicates with strangers about their bowel habits
and the like is at least a little obsessive.
I know that the physical symptoms that led us to this
website are real. I do not suggest that we imagine our
ill health. I merely offer my own insight into observing
myself in hopes that it might be helpful to someone
else.
As part of my self-research I decided I would not look at
any book, article, website or anything else regarding
health related issues for one week. It was hard let me
tell you, but it made me realise how much I let my
physical state control my life. And guess what? I felt
pretty good that week! Not perfect by any means, but a
lot better than I normally do. Maybe it's a coincidence,
but it is something worth exploring.
All the best to everyone!
In Reply to: What I have learned posted by beth on September 17, 2001 at 18:47:41:
needing to control things especially inside your body
probably causes stress. It's good to be able to control
when needed and then relax when not. When the body is
functioning normally that is easy to do. When not, it is
hard. I always liked to work and play hard and then relax.
Anything in between left me uneasy and itching to do
Something that was hard to figure out.
VF
In Reply to: What I have learned posted by beth on September 17, 2001 at 18:47:41:
...
In Reply to: What I have learned posted by beth on September 17, 2001 at 18:47:41:
The individuals on this board have health problems which understandly cause them anxiety, and most are merely looking for some answers/reassurance; hardly what I would call "obsessive." Communicating with people they KNOW (instead of total strangers) about bowel habits, etc. would be strange in my opinion.
Joan in Az
In Reply to: What I have learned posted by beth on September 17, 2001 at 18:47:41:
Geez - I am sorry that some people on this BB are
offended by my honest feedback (or self-important
enough to be concerned about people mistaking her for
the originator of this post. BTW - there is no such thing
as a "real beth." I share that name along with countless
others).
Dr. Stoll encourages everyone to share their experience
which is what I have done. If you don't feel that what I
am experiencing applies to you, that is perfectly fine.
The comment I made about hypochondria was
somewhat tongue-in-cheek, but let's face, there are
many on this BB that appear to be afflicted with that
condition. It's too bad that all the ill health everyone here
is suffering has made at least some lose one of the
things that can probably help them greatly...a sense of
humour.
In Reply to: What I have learned posted by beth on September 17, 2001 at 18:47:41:
Hi, beth (whichever one you are)
I found nothing wrong with your post. In fact, I think your post was humorous and certainly not accusatory!! We must all learn not to take things so personally, don't you think?
People on this board feel that they can let their true feelings about health, self, etc. be known and then be understood, even though we chide one another once in a while. I think it helps to know that others really care and don't judge one another. Raisa
In Reply to: Re: What I have learned posted by Raisa on September 18, 2001 at 17:26:02:
You seem like a very level-headed person. Thank yo.
In Reply to: Something else I've learned posted by beth on September 18, 2001 at 15:29:05:
So, because you are posting her now, though I've been posting for six months before you, I have to change my screen name so that I can be differentiated from you?
Thanks for being so amazingly self-centered.
"The Other Trish" realized there was another Trish on the board already and chose another posting name. That was the honorable thing to do.
In Reply to: Re: Something else I've learned posted by beth on September 18, 2001 at 22:17:25:
You can call yourself whatever you like. I call myself
beth on this BB because that is my name. I am not
trying to slight anyone else with that name who may
have been posting here long before me. I will most
likely not be posting here enough for this to be an
issue any further.
Why are you so angry?
In Reply to: to beth posted by beth on September 18, 2001 at 23:59:10:
I am only doing what R. did a few days ago to another poster who used his screen name (he asked him to stop). I'm not angry. I have several issues I'm working with people on and I don't want any confusion as to who I am. So, as you don't seem to care about being honorable (I would have been, in fact, I made sure I posted with all lower case to be separated from another Beth on this board), I guess I'll have to change my screen name here. Thanks for being so understanding.
In Reply to: Re: to beth posted by beth on September 19, 2001 at 00:42:11:
why not make your name distinctive like using a middle or
last initial ?? Except for rare names I have no idea if
people with the Same name are the same person unless I read
things they have written before in new notes. How would one
know the difference ??
VF
In Reply to: Re: to beth posted by Vince F on September 19, 2001 at 01:13:45:
I guess that's what I'll have to do.
In Reply to: What I have learned posted by beth on September 17, 2001 at 18:47:41:
Thanks, beth.
Good stuff!
Namaste`
Walt
In Reply to: Re: to beth posted by beth on September 19, 2001 at 00:42:11:
I will not likely be posting very frequently. However, in
the future I will use my full name, Elizabeth, to help
distinguish myself from the beth who has on-going
postings.
In Reply to: Re: to beth posted by Elizabeth - previously known as beth on September 19, 2001 at 14:36:05:
Ooooooooh! You're not even a real Beth!!!! :) You're one of those pretender Elizabeths!!! I'm a true, real Beth!
And I think that you're probably right, it's best that I distinguish myself from the pack as well.
In Reply to: To Vince... posted by Beth E. on September 19, 2001 at 02:10:13:
I read through all the posts on the "beth" issue - and the sad part is all of you missed the point on the original message. Beth was nice enough to share her personal conflict with hypochondria, which is something VERY real to me. Thank you for sharing, and I would like to know your secret on feeling better and not obssessing, which is what I tend to do.
P.S. And to the person who is so concerned about a name game, act your age and not your shoe size!!!
In Reply to: Missing the point posted by nicki on September 20, 2001 at 11:16:44:
Nicki, thank you for drawing attention away from the
name game and back to my original post!
I am sorry to hear that you also suffer from that
annoying afflication known as hypochondria!!! I am now
aware of the fact that my obsessive attitude about my
body and health has been with me since I was a child.
And I do believe that at least some ( if not all) of the
illness I experience is brought on mentally or by
ongoing mental strain. I realized this because there are
certain situations that are almost guaranteed to make
me feel bad. Then I feel fine when I am out of the trigger
situation. It took careful self observation to notice this,
because it is not readily apparent.
Anyway, as I work through this I realise there is no
"secret" to unraveling the obsessive behavior. It really
took a little examination of my own behaviors and
responses to the events of life. Then it took A LOT of
discipline to let it go for one week as an experiment. I
figured putting a time limit on it would make it easier.
Maybe even one day would be a start.
So for one week, I did not allow myself to read about or
in any way "engage" my mind in regards to my health.
Every time I started to clench up or think about my
physical state, I would remind myself that I was taking a
vacation from it, and could start again the following
week. Or I would just focus my mind on something
else. Activity is the best way for me. The first few days
were easy, then it got hard about mid-way through the
week, then it got easier again toward the end because I
actually felt physically better!
I am fortunate to have found a group that practices a
form of excercise known as Liu Thong Excercise in my
town. Every morning at dawn they gather in a park to do
a series of 36 excercises designed to work every part of
the body and build strength and health from within. I
joined this group a few weeks ago, and I feel that it
helps to calm my mind, which is a great way to start the
day. I think any form of meditation or excercise such as
this is important to do first thing in the morning EVERY
DAY. I believe this has also helped me with my
obsessive thougths and behaviors.
Another realization that has helped me is recognizing
that the stress of trying to control all the time, and the
stress of fear, are actually more inpleasant than illness
itself. I feel as if I live in a constant state of low level
tension and worry in an effort to "stay well" and brace
against illness. But it would be better to feel relaxed
most of the time, and suffer illness only periodically! At
least I would have calm most of the time. Does this
make sense? I'm not sure I explain it properly.
Anyway, I highly recommend reading the books that
Doctor Stoll recommends. His own book and Mind As
Healer...by Pelltier and The Stress of Life by Seyles. I
recognized myself so many times while reading these
books. They are a good spring board for further
examination and progress toward better mental and
physical health.
All the best to you!
Elizabeth
In Reply to: Re: Missing the point to:nicki posted by Elizabeth on September 20, 2001 at 13:36:15:
Thank you so much for responding and giving me such a wealth of information. I am going to get myself to a bookstore this weekend and try to find those books you recommended. I could relate to almost everything you wrote. And, I too, have suffered like this since childhood. ALWAYS worried about SOMETHING ... I cannot stand it. I am happy at least one of us "hypochondriacs" is on the right track!!!
In Reply to: Re: Missing the point to:nicki posted by Elizabeth on September 20, 2001 at 13:36:15:
I thought that Hypocondriacs just Thought they were sick and
had no real problem. Having a condition or problem caused
by stress wouldn't be it to me. I never believed in it
unless someone was mentally unbalanced but Then That would
be the illness. if stress cause pain or problems to me That
is the illness, Not some phantom.
VF
In Reply to: Re: Missing the point to:nicki posted by nicki on September 20, 2001 at 13:43:33:
I am glad to offer any insight I can. I hope you are
feeling more relaxed soon.
On the lighter side of hypochondria...Have you ever
seen the film Hannah and Her Sisters? It's a Woody
Allen film (the king of hypochondriacs!) that came out in
the mid-80s. I highly recommend it. It is a really nice
story about three sisters (beautifully played by Barbara
Hershey, Dianne Wiest and Mia Farrow), but as a side
note Woody Allen's character is a stressed out
hypochrondriac who constantly imagines he is ill only to
find out it's nothing. Then a doctor wants to order some
"tests" one day. Allen of course flips out because he
had always IMAGINED he was sick, but never thought
about what it would be like to actually BE sick. He
tumbles into complete fear and paranoia imagining the
worst (that he has a brain tumour!). After the doc visit he
goes back to his office and complains to his assistant
that life is so cruel, that he had been so happy that
morning, and now he was miserable after going to the
doctor. She reminds him that he was stressed out that
morning, and that, in fact, he was never really happy, to
which he replies, "I WAS happy, I just didn't KNOW I as
happy."
This line should be my mantra, because it sums up my
life in so many ways!!!
Anyway, thought you might want to check it out for a little
comic relief. It gets even funnier when his character
finds out there is nothing wrong with him and then falls
into a spiritual crisis when it dawns on him that
although he is not dying, one day he is going to have to
face death! There's just no stopping a worrier is
there!!!(LOL)
I will post some more if I find out anything worth
sharing. Please do the same!
In Reply to: Re: Missing the point to:nicki posted by Vince F on September 20, 2001 at 15:38:16:
I have no idea what you are talking about. Hypochondriacs worry about every little ache, pain, bump, etc. Worrying & stress cause muscle tension, chest pain, etc... these are REAL symptoms ... maybe you should do some more research before commenting.
In Reply to: Nicki: a little comic relief posted by Elizabeth on September 20, 2001 at 15:49:36:
Thanks so much for the suggestion - yet another thing to add to my "to do" list this weekend...!!! Some days are better for me than others. I am sure you know all about that ... But, reading some of the postings on this board really put things in perspective for me ... and I see myself in so many of the people who write that are worried even after their dr. told them it was nothing... I can only think of one thing that I would suggest you try reading - I am a BIG fan of Dr. Phil (he appears on Oprah) - I read his book Life Strategies and it was awesome ... you may want to take a peek at it ...
In Reply to: Re: Missing the point to:nicki posted by nicki on September 20, 2001 at 16:43:51:
Hi, Nicki - I don't want to get into any arguments, but I do think that you and Vince are talking about the same thing. "Hypochondriacs WORRY..." WORRYING and stress CAUSE"
Raisa
In Reply to: Re: Missing the point to:nicki posted by nicki on September 20, 2001 at 16:43:51:
hypocondriacs also worry or Can worry about imaginary pains.
I don't call someone With pains or problems a hypocondriac.
Thinking that one has cancer or something serious because
they can't think of a cause seems extreme. Finding out or
remembering is a good idea before one should panic. I have
had pains I was Concerned abot like deep thigh pains that I
couldn't figure the cause and I Did wonder if it was an
infection or something wrong in the bone since I couldn't
remember a cause. I don't think that was bing a hypo c. Then
I remembered that i kicked my car bumper with the bottom of
my foot to square it up to get it to come back out after it
being pushed in like I did easily with my previous car which
came out easily but not this one and I even banged it into
a bridge abutment with no luck and had to use a pipe and
heavy hammer and lots of wacks. I was concerned but not in a
panic.
VF
In Reply to: Re: Nicki: a little comic relief posted by nicki on September 20, 2001 at 16:47:42:
I have heard of Dr. Phil and am interested to check it
out! Thanks.
|
[ Stress Management Archive ] [ Main Archives Page ] [ Glossary/Index ] [ FAQ ] [ Recommended Books ] [ Bulletin Board ] |
Search this site! | |