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Been reading up on narcissism. Many (but not all) of the traits apply to me (but did in the past -- for example, I don't lie but it's a practice I adopted as an adult just to avoid complications.) Also I took about three on-line tests, and they strongly indicate that I have a PD (personality disorder).
(History: I was severely abused by both alcoholic parents, set fires as a child, abused animals, etc. -- it's a miracle I'm not a serial killer.)
According to the literature, there is no real "cure" or "treatment" for personality disorders. In addition, keep reading advice for people to "run like hell" if they're involved with someone who has a PD such as narcissism.
So, the questions for me are:
1) Is it worth (time and expense) being tested by a professional to see if in fact I'm narcissistic/narcissist?
Why bother, if there's no real "treatment" anyway?
2) If yes to the above, once armed with that info then what? Don't want to ask a therapist because the answer will be to keep coming back for counseling ($$$) even if it's ineffective, so thought I'd pose it here.
To follow up on #2,
3) Can a narcissist learn to cope w/ the disorder just by reading all the books out there? Is therapy a waste of money in a case like this?
4) If a narcissist, does this mean no possibility of a healthy relationship? To spend the rest of my life alone? (I refuse to become involved with a codependent/dysfunctional person, which partially explains why I'm flying solo right now.)
Thanks for your thoughts.
In Reply to: Personality disorder? posted by Narc? on October 18, 2003 at 00:11:43:
I'm not sure if this will help but the fact that you are reaching out to what amounts to strangers seems to indicate that you are not, in fact narcissistic. If I understand the disorder correctly (having been accused of being one) then your ego will not allow you to admit you have a problem. Unfortunately, this is exactly the same as if you have no problem, so you are sort of back to square one.
It makes no sense to stress over a possible psychological disorder that can't be cured anyway. Treatment means that you will get limited alleviation, and as soon as you stop "treatment" you are back where you started from. Actually I have a problem with doctors and "treatment" so I am probably the last person who should be commenting on this, but for what it's worth, if treatment does not result in a cure, then it isn't worth it. It just lines the pocket of the doctor.
Ever since Freud and his "isms" there has been far to much attention paid to peculiarities of mind, and this long, labor-intensive "protocol" to fix what might not be broken.
If you "fix" it -this disorder, how will you know it's fixed?
How fixed will it be?
Will you have to read another set of books and magazine articles and they observe yourself to see if you fit some composite profile?
The kind of person you attract to you for relationships will inevitably have issues similar to your own. That is "why" you will be attracted to them, or they to you or both. It is in the fires of relationship that the real healing takes place. You CAN do work on yourself & there will be benefit, however it is usually easier if you have a partner to "push" against. If it's important, you often attract a soulmate, which sort of puts a damper on the whole Love Of Your Life aspect of soulmates.
Question is, is this disorder so noticable that it WILL dominate how you live your life?
In Reply to: Personality disorder? posted by Narc? on October 18, 2003 at 00:11:43:
First I want to comment (to Gregory's response) that it is indeed possible to be a narcissist and be aware of that.
The answer to all your questions, or at least part of the answer is - it depends.
1)This depends on WHO you meet. The most important thing is how you connect with the therapist. It is very difficult to find someone to connect with. You might spend loads of money just searching.
2) You should find someone who is capable of teaching you empathy through actions and communication, not just the blablabla. You don't need someone to read a book for you when you can read yourself. You need someone to retrain your attitudes by showing you healthier models.
3)That someone can be you. You can come a long way by applying book knowledge. It is very hard work, but, judging by your questions, you might have the capacity to undertake it. Read critically, and don't accept concepts if they don't apply to you. Don't take anything literally. The main thing - can't overemphasize this - is that you WISH to learn and move on. But keep in mind that it will be a work never finished. You'll need to re-read those books sometimes. You'll have to go many rounds around the issues. But it is ABSOLUTELY worth it. But - you need at least ONE supporting person to do this on your own. Basically, you need a witness. Someone to acknowledge what has happened to you, who will listen but not condemn, someone who is self-confident and has not gone through similar childhood experiences. Most importantly you need someone who is capable of seeing the real you - because not being understood, or not being allowed to be who you are is often the crux of the problem.
4)Of course you can have a good relationship, especially if you take some of the steps above. Agree totally that you should avoid anyone who is in trouble. You can't afford not to be pragmatic. Anyone who was abused as a child should seek out healthy people, maybe their only chance to regain a balance.
Finally, yes, you should do something about this. What you can't do is go on living as if nothing had happened. The sooner you do the inner gardening, the better. There is also life after that too. Have courage! Do the right thing.
In Reply to: Re: Personality disorder? posted by Gregory on October 18, 2003 at 01:06:28:
Funny how you came up with a lot of questions instead of answers.
I know many people who are convinced that they cannot change. I can't figure out whether they are really incapable of changing or if they are victims of their own persuasion. Then I know many people who have changed and keep on changing. They mature and they know it.
How will you know that the disorder is fixed? You will be able to see that your responses to situations have changed, and you will be able to express (to yourself) how the change has affected you. You will look upon your previous responses as wrong. You might be amazed that you ever responded the way you did. You will be able to understand why you did it and recall how you learned to respond that way. You will be able to talk for hours about how you were and how that has changed. You will understand.
How fixed it will be? Once broken, never fixed. "Fixing yourself" means that you will mostly function well, but in situations which your subconscious will recognize as press-the-button situations you might resort to the old patterns of reaction. This should always be recognized, accepted as inevitable, and then one should work on how to avoid repetition. Working in this way one can come very far.
I imagine this work is so hard because it requires in some ways re-wiring of the brain structures. I envision my old beliefs as intertwined strands of hair. I have to loosen them and then twin them again, in a new way. Now the brain plasticity is at its paramount in childhood and adolescence, because that is when we acquire these things that should serve us for lifetime. Only - what do we do when what we have acquired doesn't serve us well or at all? Like making a mistake when knitting. The annoying job of pulling everything apart and re-doing it? Well, it's possible! What I don't know is whether everyone retains some degree of brain plasticity, or if some people can't re-twin without tearing the whole structure apart. If you see what I mean.
If you have done something right it will FEEL right. If you have trained yourself to reach conclusions through reasoning only, you might never know when something is right. Hope this is not the case. :) Be well.
In Reply to: Personality disorder? posted by Narc? on October 18, 2003 at 00:11:43:
Hi Narc,
I fully believe that anything can be healed if you really want to do it.
You've taken the first great step by becoming aware that there is something going on with you, and resolving to face it and change it. Congratulations.
Reading is a good place to start and continue. Have you done any searches to see if there are any books on healing narcissism? You may have to dig around, and one thing you may need to do is learn some of the psychotherapeutic lingo and start reading books geared for therapists about how to work with your condition. You can find out the titles and content at amazon.com and borrow them through InterLibrary Loan.
BTW, don't get too hung up on labels or names of conditions. The basic thing is you have something to heal and you are going to heal it. Just use the name to help you find the information you need.
Sure you can have successful relationships. You will need to learn what makes them happen. As an "adult child of alcoholics" one place to start is reading the information about co-dependency available in that community. BTW, the decision to lie is one of the greatest obstacles to having really good, intimite relationships, and lying can take very subtle forms.
Therapy is not a waste of money, if you have a good therapist who really cares about you. Don't go to the "ordinary" ones, find the ones who are into "alternatives." I've found that body-centered therapists or those who work holistically (body, mind, and spirit) tend to be better. You don't have to spend a lot of money to find one. Ask for a free initial consultation and interview a number of them, and see which one feels right for you.
Yes, counseling is expensive (be sure to ask about/negotiate the cost when you have your interview). However, it can be far more effective than using books alone. I spent many years reading books and still do, but the five years I spent in therapy helped and is helping so much more, because you actually get to practice new relationship skills and to work out your issues with someone who is safe, won't abandon you, knows what you're trying to work through, and can coach you. It's money well spent!
I agree, don't become involved with dysfunctional/co-dependent people. What can help is for you to become involved with a healing community (i.e., people who are dysfunctional/co-dependent who are working on healing themselves) and start forming friendships with them, etc. You will all heal together and learn from each other and then you will be ready for a relationship with a healthy person. Don't think that you can attract a healthy person if you are not healthy yourself. You have to do your homework first.
This process takes a while. Don't expect it to happen overnight but keep working on yourself. The process itself is actually a kind of reward, and when you've done this for a while and start having good, healthy relationships with people, it is wonderful beyond belief.
I'm a daughter of an alcoholic parent and co-dependent parent with other mental illnesses in the family. My psychological problems had a different name than narcissism, but were quite deep. The money I spent on psychotherapy is the best money I *ever* spent. For many years I did not know why I could not develop relationships with people, and set out to change that. I now have good, solid relationships and friendships with really good, healthy, wonderful people. And, I'm just starting to date healthy fellows. :o)
Best wishes,
Happygal
In Reply to: Re: Personality disorder? posted by opinion on October 18, 2003 at 03:33:13:
I will endeavor in all my future posts to come up with more answers than questions...
In Reply to: Keeping Score posted by Gregory on October 18, 2003 at 04:13:40:
NO :) By all means don't! Questions are as good as answers.
In Reply to: Re: Personality disorder? posted by Happygal on October 18, 2003 at 04:08:41:
Thanks for your suggestions.
Yes, I've found several books available on-line. That's what prompted some of my questions....
Narcissists are loners. I hate group therapy/support groups, which is not surprising, as this is listed as one of the traits of narcissism!
You didn't address my question about testing by a therapist. Should I spend the money on them (tests) or just go by the free on-line tests and assume I have a PD and proceed from there? BTW I've been in counseling off and on for years but only w/ SWs. Last year found a Ph.D., whom I saw a few times before financial issues cut that short. None of the people I've seen have ever tested me.
But in general your points are well taken, and I'm glad things are working out for you.
In Reply to: Re: Personality disorder? posted by opinion on October 18, 2003 at 03:03:58:
Thanks. Great comments. :)
Unfortunately I've always yearned to be around and sought out "healthy people" but they aren't attracted to me, which I understand is not uncommon and therefore not surprising.
IYO should I undergo expensive "official" testing by my counselor? On one hand, what's the point....
In Reply to: Re: Personality disorder? posted by Gregory on October 18, 2003 at 01:06:28:
Yikes! Man, this is too close to home...
It DOES dominate how I live my life. My life's pretty dysfunctional right now -- no substance abuse or gambling or anything but other stuff. :)
But I don't claim to necessarily BE a narcissist... In my post I said that I had (at least) "narcissistic tendencies." FWIW frankly I see this board as a resource, which also happens to have a few cool people on it, nothing more. This isn't the social hour for me (although I understand that it is for some here).
Your points are well taken. Obviously you don't think therapy is the way to go, but what about testing -- IYO is testing worth the "investment" to find out one way or the other (if I have a PD)? Not knowing may drive me nuts, so it may be worth it just to get the "answer," heh heh. OTOH -- more money down the drain, no? Then again, if I do decide to pursue counseling (as suggested by other posters) that info would be helpful to the therapist.
Thinking aloud here...
In Reply to: Re: Personality disorder? posted by Narc? on October 18, 2003 at 04:48:16:
That depends on whether you can afford it or not. Well, why not try it and see what happens? You may loose money, but you will be one experience richer. When I sense that I am scared/ reluctant of something I just go and do it. Best way to shatter doubts.
Just don't go there saying "I wonder if I have a narcissist problem". Make a list of what you sense are the problem areas in your life. If they listen until you have finished, that's a good sign. If they jump straight in and start giving you advice, chances are they are not too good. After listening (which may take several sessions) they should be able to tell you how they can help, or present a sort of plan if you wish for how you can work together.
I forgot something. All people have personality traits that resemble those from the personality disorder tests. It is just that when those traits are so dominant that we experience social misfunctioning that we start to perceive it as a disorder. People with disorder are misaligned with themselves and everybody else. But misalignment can be fixed. It is people like you, who exhibit moral concerns that have best chances of recovery. Having a disorder is a state of mind and like all other states can be resolved. Personally, I distinguish between a PD and psychiatric illness or madness. In latter, I suspect a genetic disorder, something biochemical, or something we don't quite understand. The fact that you yourself have arrived at your conclusion is very favorable. That realization is the first step of the recovery.
In Reply to: Re: Personality disorder? posted by Narc? on October 18, 2003 at 04:45:10:
Hi Narc,
What on earth do you need a test for? Do you need a diagnosis for insurance to pay for you?
If you already know that you have trouble with relationships and you want to improve your personality, what need for tests? Desire for self improvement and a better life is enough reason to start therapy.
No one EVER diagnosed me (I wouldn't let them). I read the description and that was enough information for me to know where to start looking to work on myself.
You don't necessarily have to be in a group! I said, "healing community." For example, I use re-evaluation co-counseling. (www.rc.org). You take a 16-week class (easy) about some basic counseling skills and then work one-on-one trading free sessions with other people in the class and in the community. Everybody is working on themselves and the mutual support is fantastic. Some of my best relationships are with co-counselors.
Ph.D.? In a therapist, education can be a dangerous thing. It tends to block their minds. (Tolstoy Syndrome - see the glossary). For myself, I selected my psychotherapist because she DIDN'T have a degree in psychotherapy, but just had some training, an open mind, and lots of compassion. Of course, this is Colorado and the laws are more liberal here. Anyway, my recommendation is don't look for the credentials as much as if they are into alternatives. Usually more credentials means a higher price.
Best wishes,
Happygal
In Reply to: Re: Personality disorder? posted by Narc? on October 18, 2003 at 04:56:13:
Well "opinion" is probably going to rake me over the coals about this but some of what you describe as "narcissistic tendencies" can also be attributed to a strong sense of self. There seems to be a mistaken notion that there is something wrong with you if you don't want to socialize with other people, or want to seek out the company of other people.
Some people are "energized" in the presence of other people, and for others it is draining. These two types are diametrically opposed, so what one finds "invigorating," the other finds tiring. Unfortunately the Social Energizers wrote "the book" so the more retiring types were labelled "anti-social" as if something is "wrong" with them.
I also find myself taking issue with using Feelings as a way of determining how well you are, as there are many dysfunctional behaviors that feel good and "right." Some are the abscence of pain and some are downright blissful. I remember making changes which was, as noted, some of the most difficult work I ever undertook. It did not FEEL good afterwards. For me it was simply a gradual reduction in pain.
My suggestion to you is to find out as much about yourself as you can. In this manner you will have a sort of "baseline" about yourself, and can compare the work you do on yourself to this baseline. Natch, this is all my opinion, so Grain Of Salt, OK?
Anyway, no sense in comparing yourself to anyone else EXCEPT yourself. The statistical, as well as more mundane errors that come from using "composite profiles" will not match up with real world data. You seem to have enough of that. People whom you have deemed healthy (or at least healthier than you) and you attraction to them and them to you. I just wonder if after you do all this work on yourself, you still find yourself unattractive/unattracted to them. What then?
In any event, this is a good starting point for the old adage "Know Thyself."
I have thus both answered and asked a question, so none should be able to find fault with this post...
In Reply to: Re: Personality disorder? (maybe not) posted by Gregory on October 18, 2003 at 05:41:45:
This is all about how one group created a sort of social stigma about another group. This has resulted in what "opinion" has observed and made comment on, without realizing the nature, or root cause of the bias, and in fact without realizing that the s/he is in fact propagating a bias.
In Reply to: Personality disorder? posted by Narc? on October 18, 2003 at 00:11:43:
Love who your are and if there is something about your life/personality that you do not like change it, become the person you want to be..This is done through trial and error and learning to make GOOD choices.. you dont need a shrink or counseling to determine what traits you have and deciding that this is not the behavior you want to allow in your life.. Be careful not to become too obsessed with becoming PERFECT...
I am not a religious fanatic but the best basic behaviorial guidline in existence today is the good ole 10 commandments... set your personal bahavior guidleines and always remeber when in question, do a reality check by talking to others who have dealt with similiar situations and what their choices were and the final outcome good or bad, as a good pont to "guage" your own behaviors and reactions... This I believe was the intent of peaople being told to "congregate" in reference to the bible.. it gives people the opportunity to get together and do self checks on their beliefs, behaviors and reactions..
We are all "works in progress"
and it is ok to "love yourself" a bit of narcissium is absolutely beneficial..*smile*
In Reply to: Re: Personality disorder? posted by Happygal on October 18, 2003 at 05:35:38:
Thanks for your clarification.
Wasn't asking you if I needed to be tested to start therapy! As stated in other post, I've been in therapy before. No, it wouldn't be for insurance reasons. Just to chart my therapy course properly. :)
Of course I've never heard of "co-counseling" before, so when you said "community" naturally I thought you meant group therapy stuff. A little detail in the beginning could've saved us from that confusion.
In Reply to: Re: Personality disorder? posted by Happygal on October 18, 2003 at 05:35:38:
Thanks for your clarification.
Wasn't asking you if I needed to be tested to start therapy! As stated in other post, I've been in therapy before. No, it wouldn't be for insurance reasons. Just to chart my therapy course properly. :)
Of course I've never heard of "co-counseling" before, so when you said "community" naturally I thought you meant group therapy stuff. A little detail in the beginning could've saved us from that confusion.
In Reply to: Re: Personality disorder? posted by Happygal on October 18, 2003 at 05:35:38:
Thanks for your clarification.
Wasn't asking you if I needed to be tested to start therapy! As stated in other post, I've been in therapy before. No, it wouldn't be for insurance reasons. Just to chart my therapy course properly. :)
Of course I've never heard of "co-counseling" before, so when you said "community" naturally I thought you meant group therapy stuff. A little detail in the beginning could've saved us from that confusion.
In Reply to: Personality disorder? posted by Narc? on October 18, 2003 at 00:11:43:
Hi Narc:
You say you were "severely" abused as a child, set fires, AND abused animals. Perhaps the disorder goes beyond the narcissism label, into something more serious.
Yes, by all means get tested by a professional. Once you have a correct diagnosis, the type of therapy, should you decide on one, will be up to you.
It's not unusual for those with personality disorders to function in society. They learn to adapt and tailor their behavior to fit in with what's acceptable and "normal". However, inside they still feel like outsiders looking in. Somehow, life's satisfaction eludes them. They know something is wrong, but don't know what right feels like because they've never felt it completely.
One wake-up call is the realization that they've never had a truly fulfilling relationship, or that they could not maintain the one they thought was the "perfect" one. It can't feel good to once-again be flying solo. But, you're right about choosing to fly solo rather than getting involved with another dysfunctional individual. Wise choice for anyone, not just you.
You know there's a problem. Otherwise, you would not have considered the possibility of a personality disorder. I also have a feeling that others have noticed something unusual and not healthy about you, and have mentioned it to you.
But, I am an optimist and feel that there is always room for healing anything. If you do nothing, you will continue as you are. I'd say start with a correct diagnosis. Then, choose your method of healing. Look, your mind is the only one you have. Do everything in your power to heal it NOW. Don't wait until it's too damaged. You'd never get a replacement anyway. Since you're stuck with what fate gave you, handle it with care and don't neglect it.
In Reply to: Re: Personality disorder? posted by PhillyLady on October 18, 2003 at 08:58:35:
Thank you!
Don't know if my lack of fulfilling relationships, etc. is because I have a PD or if I'm just really dysfunctional? [shrug] There's only one way to find out.
In Reply to: Re: Personality disorder? posted by PhillyLady on October 18, 2003 at 08:58:35:
Dear PhillyLady, thanx.
you said something that lead me to an insight on something else I am working on. And I wholly agree with your recommendations.
In Reply to: Re: Personality disorder? posted by PhillyLady on October 18, 2003 at 08:58:35:
If you hang around with weird people, are YOU weird or are they?
In either case, how do you know?
Let's say you have identified a group as "healthy." Are they healthy compared to you, healthy compared to society at large (which it must be pointed out, they are a product of), healthy compared to some arbitrary benchmark?
I'd like to know what your definition of healthy is, and do you consider yourself, physical ailments aside, fitting that definition.
In Reply to: Personality disorder? posted by Narc? on October 18, 2003 at 00:11:43:
You might want to check this one out - best book on personalities that I know of
'opinion'
In Reply to: Personality disorder? posted by Narc? on October 18, 2003 at 00:11:43:
Narc,
The fact that you can be objective about yourself and any psychological problem you may have makes you seem more "normal" to me than a lot of people.
Even though you "acted out" as a child, I believe people can grow out of certain childhood psychological problems, particularly when they can recognize those problems in themselves. I know of a person who injured animals as a child and this person grew into a very loving adult, and not narcisitic at all. Kids do really weird things and totally grow out of it.
I think you should get at least a couple of opinions from professionals. NEVER take just one doctor's word on something like this. The key is finding talented and skilled mental health professionals. How to find these people in your area I can't say. But get at least 2 or 3 opinions from truly competant professionals. At least you will get a better idea of whether you really have a personality disorder. Don't self-diagnose on this.
Children who are autistic often have problems relating to people, but they are now being taught how to relate to others by specialized training. Sort of "re-wiring" the brain by teaching children even the most basics of human interaction. I believe you can at least become less narcisitic, particularly because you see that you are this way and want to change. If you really do want to change, that is. Perhaps you could try to "act as if" you were not narcisitic. Ask yourself what a non-narcisitic person would do in any particular situation, then do that. At first it might feel as if you are just doing something that doesn't really come from the heart, but after a while, you may start to enjoy the feelings you get from caring about and helping others. In this way, you might be able to "re-wire" the circuitry in you brain.
A skilled professional could probably help you with this. Finding that person could be the hard part. Or if there is a book that could help you in this particular way, books really can help a lot. But a good professional could help keep you on track.
All the best,
NancyN
In Reply to: Personality disorder? posted by Narc? on October 18, 2003 at 00:11:43:
Most narcissists don't believe they have a problem, thus they don't seek therapy. They know something is wrong, but often believe *it's the other person.* So, kudos to you. Realization is truly the first step toward a better life.
The second step is working on the problem. By all means, read as much as you can. Be informed. That way you can ask questions to a potential therapist as to how he or she would go about treating you. Therapy can be expensive, but it can help you move into a healthier, happier life faster.
You are a smart cookie to *fly solo* during this.
Martha
In Reply to: Re: Personality disorder? posted by opinion on October 18, 2003 at 13:15:22:
Hi Opinion:
I'm glad a revelation came your way. Sometimes they appear without the search.
In Reply to: Personality Order posted by Disarrayed, Not Disordered on October 18, 2003 at 15:10:03:
Hi Disarrayed:
Weird people are, by society's standards, different from the norm. Einstein was weird. So was Houdini, Madame Blavatsky, Hildegard Von Bingen, Admiral Byrd, Salvador Dali. Weird people have always contributed positively to society. Weirdness is not a problem. Now, weird AND dangerous is something entirely different. But, weirdness by itself is not a problem in my book. Weird people tend to flock together. But then there are those who are weird- people lovers, and therefore, seek them out.
Bear in mind that one can be weird and dysfunctional. In that case, the dysfunction still has to be addressed.
My definition of healthy? I'd say when everything in the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual is functioning properly and the being is in harmony with his circumstances.
I consider myself fairly healthy of mind. But, I can do better. There are minor flaws, that do not deter from my healthy interactions with the rest of humanity. Hope that answers your questions.
In Reply to: Re: Personality Order posted by PhillyLady on October 18, 2003 at 22:20:58:
All except for 1.
Can you tell the difference between dysfunctional and merely weird? Seems like a fine line.
I noticed you only mention mind. Are the other Elements (physical, emotional and spiritual) healthy or are they
too minorly flawed in such a manner that they "do not deter from my healthy interactions with the rest of humanity."
Ok, make that two questions.
In Reply to: Personality disorder? posted by Narc? on October 18, 2003 at 00:11:43:
Hi, Narc.
Why not "cut the Gordian Knot"? Bypass all this by making serious wellness your hobby for at least a year. Just by not dating right now, you surely have the time to do this. Your only problem will come when you start feeling so good that you may become overconfident and start dating before you are ready.
I know that this sounds like I am recommending you do what I constantly rail against on this BB: "One size fits all."
However it is the most effective thing you can do, as a first step, in this situation! Once you have at least a year under your belt, you will have the horsepower to tackle the lifetime habits you have developed until now.
Let us know how you do.
Walt
In Reply to: Re: Personality Order posted by Disarrayed on October 18, 2003 at 23:58:15:
Hi Disarrayed:
Dysfunctional is destructive and results in dissatisfaction, repeated social failures, along with the inability to make corrections even when the person finally understands the problem. In other words, if one is dysfunctional and KNOWS it, but still cannot correct the destructive patterns, then he is still dysfunctional (but now aware). Remember that this is simply MY interpretation of what dysfunctional is. For a clinical explanation, you should consult a professional who knows.
Van Gogh was weird, but also dysfunctional. Whenever I read about him I can't help but wonder how his sad, tormented soul must have suffered.
Your question about my personal flaws is intriguing. I wonder why you are curious about such things since you probably don't know me. But to answer it, my minor flaws are mostly a hindrance to myself and my expectations. Others have no problem accepting them (at least that's what they tell me). But on some rare occasions, comments were made to the contrary by those who didn't like what they saw.
In Reply to: Re: Personality disorder? posted by oh, and one more thing on October 18, 2003 at 16:06:26:
Hi, oh,
Thanks for your help, but unfortunately the link didn't work. Can you please post the book title and author?
Thanks.
In Reply to: Re: Personality Order posted by PhillyLady on October 19, 2003 at 07:58:20:
Sorry about that. I am not meaning to pick on you or expose your flaws or anything. I am simply curious if your awareness of your "flaws" is in some manner picked up on by your friends, who instead of interpreting it as a flaw, simply chalk it up as one of your peculiarities or weirdnesses. What I WAS intrigued by was that you focused on mind, which is so in keeping with your generally intellectual approach to the posts you respond to.
In Reply to: Re: Personality disorder? posted by Joan on October 19, 2003 at 13:27:56:
Sorry about that.
The author is Stephen M.Johnson, the title is Character Styles. It is a comprehensive review of personality styles, not according to one particular psychoanalytic school, but according to author's experience. For every type, there is a list of traits, false beliefs and therapeutic goals. A brilliant synthesis, in my opinion.
In Reply to: Re: Personality disorder? posted by Opinion on October 20, 2003 at 06:59:13:
Too fast, again.
"according to author's experience" - make that "author's professional experience" - he is a psychiatrist, of course.
While I'm at it, I may add that he uses both professional jargon and accessible language, which makes the book accessible to lay reader. For instance, he uses terms "the hated child, the abandoned child, the defeated child, the exploited child, the disciplined child" when explaining the personality styles that may result in pathologies.
In Reply to: Re: Personality disorder? posted by Opinion on October 20, 2003 at 07:07:26:
Wow,this sounds like a great read!
Thank you, Opinion! :)
In Reply to: Re: Personality disorder? (Archive in wellness.) posted by Walt Stoll on October 19, 2003 at 07:47:59:
x
In Reply to: Re: Personality disorder? (Social Energizer link) posted by Gregory on October 18, 2003 at 06:04:10:
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