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This is the post I have wanted to write since I found this board some 3 or 4 years ago.
I am healed.
Probably not totally, not yet, and I am not set to quiver about the definition of well, but the fact is that after 5 and one half years of battling an illness that took my life away from me, and left me a pain ridden husk of the person I was, I am back. Back to life, back to my goals, back to my dreams. I owe a debt to this board. A debt of gratitude and I intend to repay in the same currency that I recieved- help, encouragment and advice. I promised myslef once that if I ever got better then I would post to this board, and let everyone know of the fantastic tool that is available to them here, adn to remind them that if they have had a instant of improvement, no matter how triavial, they too owe this board to give back what they can.
I thought when I got well, I would be only to glad to preach the lessons I had learned adn share my experinece with anyone who would listen, but the sad truth is that I just want to move on. I have 5 years to make up. Oh, sure, I know I never will, but I can look a the sun and enjoy a sunset, and feel peace and calm in my life, and for the time being, it is intoxicating.
A little about me:
Some of you may remmeber my logon, though it has been a while since I have posted here. Some fo you have fofered me extraordinary advice and help...Labrat, Helping you, Nutmeg, Happy Girl, SHAPE, and of course Walt. [I apologize if I left anyone out.] This is a brief history for those of you who have not seen it and have made it this far intot he email.
In 1996 I was playing water polo for a division one school, dating the girl of my dreams, and enjoying college. I was working hard, perhaps too hard, trying to be the best, and ran myslef into the ground, but the worst was yet to come. I graduated in 1997, in the fall, and packed my bags for Milan at the new year. Then everythign began to fail. I have since looked at my journals and discovered that by April of that year, I had lost 25 pounds, and was a wreck-so it happened fast. I was in europe, eating poorly and livin wrethcedly, when I noticed that all my energy was fast leaving me. My interest in life began to fade. I could nto think clearly and my weight, as I said before, plumeted from 170 to 145. I am 6'2. It was not pretty. I staggered as I walked. worst of all, my mind was a wreck. It spun out of control, and I could not think, I would ofetn find myslef somewhere with little recollection of how I got there. My attention span was about 4 seconds, and my mind so overly focused that I could not read. This si not an exaggeration. I became daily mroe depressed.
Over the next five years the illness never lifted. Sometimes the derpression was so deep, that I would call people just to make sure I would not hurt myself. I would cry for days sometimes. I called them "black days", when the world seemed so dark that living was a chore and from the time I awoke in the morning, my goal was to make to alive to bed that night.
I had migraines so severe I would weep from the pain. ALways on the left side of my head, with sympthetic pains in my shoulder and abdomin. These migraines would last for about 72 hours, and sledom lifted for more than 24.
I had arthritis like pain, if not arthitis, in my wrists, ankles, hiips and shoulders. Everytime I ate, these would flare up.
I would sometimes swell up, not urinating for days as the water would pack on to extrmeties tight with swelling. I could nt rmove my rings some days for the swelling. then sometimes I would dehydrate, looking gaunt and empty in the mirror. I would cramp and be thirsty, but the water would pour off me.
I didnt digest anythign well for 5 years. each meal was suceeded by a migrinae or a headache. My stomach hurt, and I was always constipated.
My mind was the real gem. It was just a whirlpool of thought, sucking in stimulie, reving up its speed, but ultimately producing nothign. Life became, at times, incomprehensible. Some days I could nto be trusted walking around. I would get lost for 45 minutes trying to read a subway map.
I was miserable. I looked everywhere for help. First to doctors, allopaths. the first guy isnisted I had to gain weight. So I did. all the way to 190. But I felt just as bad. So he told me I needed prozac. The next doctor sent me to a physciatrist, who also told me I needed prozac. I was tested for allergies, blood abnormalities, CAT Scans, MRIs, diabetes, and everyitgn else I could think of when the doctors ran out. in the end, they would grow frustrated adn perscribe prozac. In the end, I gave my word to a doctor I would try an SSRI for one year. I did, and when one year was up, I quit it. I felt worse on than off. or at least no worse. I saw phycologists, and worked out some wonderful family issues, but never felt better.
In all this I kept journals, food, mood, and thought. I looked for patterns. I knew food affected me, it could make me feel better or worse. I read. I read and I listened. I tried, over the years, vegan, vegatarian, paleolithic, adkins, the Zone, hypoalergenic, fasting. In the end I settled on a PWFD. It did n heal me, not then, but I was swayed by all the informtion that I was gettign that one's wellness over the long run was linked to diet, that I reached the conclusion that I should put my body int he best place to accept wellness. You know, give it the best shot. Really what I did then adn what I do now is cobbled from the research of Dr. Weston Price, and the Weston PRice foundation and Nourishing Traditions by Sally Fallon adn mary Enig. I have spoken with thema dn they are very pleasant.
But this was n the answer.
I talked to everyone who might help. I did fasts, candida cures, bowel cleansing, Magnesium IVs, Primal Defense, Mega Vitamin C, Vit B, raw garlic, raw vinegar, McFerrans Diets, accupuncture, tapping, forgiving the pain, forgiving myslef for the pain, visualisation, biofeedback therapy, meditation, saunas, exposure to sun, walking rebounding, more exercise, less excersize, more greens less greens, oregano oil, caprylic acid, carnitine, Tyrosine, alexander techinique, doxycycline for Klebsiella, I ran a Glucose Tolerance test, and more that I cannot even remember.
I read. I read this website, and other website, books, articles, pampletes, anything that might help. I learned more sceince and medicine than most first year med students. ok that is an exaggeration, but I, like you probably, could tell a doctor more about ym treatment that nearly any patient.
In the end I found health. I would tell you the probelms, and the cures, but it is really immaterial. That is what I learned. When I sa to write this, I thought about the message I wanted to give, and the message is this...there is a cure, there is an answer, its out there, and you can find it. dont believe anyone but yourself.
That said this website was my savior. It opened doors and pointed out paths. Without ti I would be begging still at the alter of conventional medicine, probably on prozac. There are people here, and lessons to be learned here, that found nowhere else. It has been a comfort, a startign place, a begginging, and now and end.
I listed my therapies above. I dont wantto give the impression that none of them were worthwhile. most of them helped, and a few of them contained the ultimate answer. for me. and that is the lesson. You are an individual, and if you had an ailment that was conventional, conventional medicine would but you on track and you are not reading this. Or perhaps you dont like the answers you got. and you are here looking for ones that suit you. Either way, you are exceptional. you won or lost the genetic lottery. You need to tailor yourself an individual, exceptional, cure. In that I will leave you with some guiding lessons tha ti think are applicable no matter what you are facing. I am not the author, but I want to give hope:
learn to listen. SR is an excellent tool. It took me years, but I can finally hear my body. I knwo when something works or not. Hone your body compass. Stretch, lie still, breath, and listen. learn to listen. I used TM. but I also tried hypnosis, and breathing and visualisation. It doesnt matter which. Find somethign that suits you and your life style.
Every year, every cell in your body is replaced. It is replaced with food, and not any food, but the food you are eating. These are the raw materials. Choose the best. COnstantly challenge your definition of health. Rotate, adapt, change.
Dont give up. Keep looking. every breakthough I had was on the heals of a failure.
Read. Doctors learn medicine in 4 years of intensive study. But you only have to learn what applies to you. Given time and interest, you can.
Keep records. Medical, personal, even picuters. rememebr what health felt like. It can be a star by which to stear. You cannot know where you are going when you cannot recall where you have been. plus, the next person to help can pick up where the last left off.
be patient. It will take time. 5 years for me, mroe or less for you. be patient, it is your life.
Do not seek to undo...redo. recreate, redefine yourself as a new person. the old person led to disease. Create a new life style, one that suits you. one you choose, not one you are driven to.
Walt, thank you. Thank for for saving my life. This is not melodrama, I walked to Kmart to buy a gun at one point. I will tell you now that the PWFD and SR were not sufficeint to cure me, but they were neccesary. I owe you that. Call on me to repay my debt, any way I can.
People, you have an invaluable resourse such as the world has never seen. ten years ago this tool was impossible, a forum of people seeking health and giving advice all over the world. Dont take it for granted.
I will be around. I am not one hundred percent, and even if I were, I know that life is long and things happen and the body eventually will betray us. I will answer any questions I can. It is my duty. You can email me, but please refernce walt's board.
Namaste.
WarnerKallus
In Reply to: Testimonial and Goodbye posted by warnerkallus [2305.1277] on August 26, 2004 at 11:15:58:
Warner,
Thank you for the inspirational and encouraging words!
Sapphire
In Reply to: Testimonial and Goodbye posted by warnerkallus [2305.1277] on August 26, 2004 at 11:15:58:
Hi WK,
It's good to hear from you. Your story is quite amazing, but after spending several years on this board, I'm aware that it's not all that uncommon! Congratulations to you for putting it all together.
I agree with many things you say, especially that we should never stop searching and that the ability to heal is within all of us and was there all the time. We just have to stop putting others in charge of our own healing and learn to know and trust ourselves. If we love ourselves and know that we have a divine connection, the universe will provide all the help we need and more.
The journey back to health is an incredible experience. Thank you for giving us the chance to know you along the way, and for sharing all you did of your struggles.
I wish you the very best,
Nutmeg
In Reply to: Testimonial and Goodbye posted by warnerkallus [2305.1277] on August 26, 2004 at 11:15:58:
Hi WK,
Thank you so much for taking the time to write this -- your story is very inspirational and will make a difference to those who are still searching.
Congratulations on finding your way!
Be well,
Donna
In Reply to: Testimonial and Goodbye posted by warnerkallus [2305.1277] on August 26, 2004 at 11:15:58:
Warner, you have a beautiful way with words, so aside from the facts of your life, your post really had an impact. I hope you continue to write as well as take good care of yourself!
In Reply to: Testimonial and Goodbye posted by warnerkallus [2305.1277] on August 26, 2004 at 11:15:58:
We need to spread the word about the Weston A. Price truths, I too have learned soooo much from them and share with anyone that will listen, Juli
In Reply to: Testimonial and Goodbye posted by warnerkallus [2305.1277] on August 26, 2004 at 11:15:58:
Hi Warner,
Glad to hear that you are doing so well. Keep in touch with us!
Best wishes,
Jan
In Reply to: Testimonial and Goodbye posted by warnerkallus [2305.1277] on August 26, 2004 at 11:15:58:
You are so right about wellness. Everyone can hone their bodies to instinctively know what is good and bad. I too am one of the people who was a lost cause but now I am well and living life to the fullest.
In Reply to: Testimonial and Goodbye posted by warnerkallus [2305.1277] on August 26, 2004 at 11:15:58:
Thanks, Warner and congratulations!
You have demonstrated what I have always said: "Never give up and never stop learning what works for YOU."
Namaste`
Walt
In Reply to: Re: Amen to Weston Price Foundation posted by Juli [2364.4] on August 26, 2004 at 15:59:46:
Thanks, Juli.
I agree that this is a wonderful resource!
Walt
In Reply to: Re: Amen to Weston Price Foundation (Archive.) posted by Walt Stoll [9.8] on August 27, 2004 at 07:51:12:
Yes,
to anyone who is reading this, buying Sally and Mery's Nourishing Traditions may be the best 25 dollars you ever spend on food. I have given it to just about everyone I know and they all love it. Even my white bread air force buddy, who has quit protein shakes and meal replacements over it.
Weston Price has a website which you should chekc out also.
In Reply to: Testimonial and Goodbye posted by warnerkallus [2305.1277] on August 26, 2004 at 11:15:58:
Thanks Warner for coming back and sharing your testamony with us. I am excited for you!
In Reply to: Re: Amen to Weston Price Foundation (Archive.) posted by warnerkallus [2305.1277] on August 27, 2004 at 09:33:25:
what is wrong with protein shakes
In Reply to: Testimonial and Goodbye posted by warnerkallus [2305.1277] on August 26, 2004 at 11:15:58:
Hi Warner! I am so grateful that you posted this remarkable tale - and more than a little envious. After suffering with CFIDS, fibro, candida, lgs and all the rest for 13 years, I am still looking for an answer. You said many things helped you, but would you care to share something(s) that you think really thinkg turned you around?
Thanks and all the best to you!
Naya
In Reply to: Testimonial and Goodbye posted by warnerkallus [2305.1277] on August 26, 2004 at 11:15:58:
warnerkallus!
I am so happy to see this post from you. Life is a journey. I am glad you hung in there and kept trying. Do keep us posted as I know you will continue to progress.
All the best,
~~~8>
In Reply to: Re: Testimonial and Goodbye posted by Naya [120.14] on August 27, 2004 at 22:43:40:
Sure, But I hesitate to claim it as a cure all for other people. It is probably best if I explain it in context.
After resding the threads adn archive son the BB here, I was in the office of an alternative specialist. I asked her, off hand, if she had the ability to run a Zinc Talley test. She nearly jumped up out fo her seat. She explained she had a bottle, it is Zn SUlfate, but had never found someone who was willing to give it a try. She had forgotten about it. I took the zinc, held it in my mouth for 10 seconds, and then swallowed it. It tasted like water. I told her. SHe informed me that it was supposed ot have a taste. I asked if the bottle had gone off, so she tried a bit. No sooner had it touched her toungue than she was spuittign it out. Apparently, for someone with adequate Zn, it tastes awful.
So I began taking Zn. Some, then a bunch...50 Mg a day. I read everyihtng I could ont he subject, becuase I was, for the first time, getting incrementally but steadily better. Most of the interesting material came from the pfeiffer center, in IL. I tried some home orthomolecular nutrition, based on reading and research, but could some days felt awful, adn some days better. I figured I had found somethign. And that is all it takes.
I wanted a professional to help me, or I could be querrying my body mind forever. I set an appointment with Pfeiffer clinic, flew to IL, and was very pleased. FOr the first time the doctors who itnerviewed me did not look at me like I was crazy or try to perscribe me prozac. They asked questions that only someone who had seen my condition before would have asked. THey could predict things I had not yet told them.
Over the months, I was on their prescribed program. I took a lot of supplements, including but not limited to 150 Mg of Zn. They tweaked the program and in the end, with diet, SR, and careful personal analysis, I hit aprogram that worked quickly and well, restoring me to health.
I think they are wonderful, but, as Dr. S will say, they are not looking at the complete picture. THey helped me becuase I only needed someone looking at the Orthomolecular aspect, and I reviewed thier every move. Their intake was great, but the follow up care is miserable. Still, if I had paid them 10,000 instead of the 1,400 that a years treatmetn has cost, I would be in their debt.
WK
In Reply to: Re: Testimonial and Goodbye posted by warnerkallus [2305.1277] on August 29, 2004 at 17:31:44:
Hi Warner! I didn't see your response until today. That's very interesting. I'll check out the zinc thing. I think I did that a long time ago, but didn't follow through. Thanks very much for the info.
To your continued health!
Naya
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